Posts

insomnia called last night

  Hey!   So insomnia struck me last night and I want to share the whole story.   Sto-rini - 13 the devil's number indeed Last night I was so sleepy so I went to bed a little earlier than usual. Usually I would hit the pillow and my brain kinda like shuts down, sometimes manual sometimes automatic. This time as well, as it was shutting down it didn’t feel like usual.   I shut down, but my thoughts kept on going and believe me when I say they make no sense. Like it’s a whole story and it keeps on moving not staying at one place. Once I would be in a spaceship hitting the asteroid and next I’m in lunch with some extra terrestrial creatures and planning for earth’s dooms day. This is not the weirdest shit yet, my head just hurt so much and I knew why too, because I’m thinking. It’s not even dreaming, I’m just thinking weird sh.   It’s as if my brain has become a whole different person and started thinking for its own. That scared me, more than anythi...

rubber hands

  My eyes feel heavy, I can’t feel my body. I feel like I’m dying. I woke up not knowing how I even fell asleep. Was it even sleep I have woken up from? But first, why does my whole body ache like crazy? I can’t even open my fucking eyes. With all my might, I open them slightly. First thing I see is red coloured sand. Just sand everywhere, red precisely. Red mountains, red sky, red sandstorms, red ground, and red …… liquid? Is that blood? Am I bleeding?? I feel a metallic taste in my mouth. It is blood. I try lifting my hands and they’re painted bright red. I have been hurt badly. Don’t know how, don’t know when, and don’t know why.   Wait, why don’t I remember why or how? I don’t remember anything. Why is that? I go deep into my thoughts and suddenly a memory snaps. A car accident. There was a car accident. Trying to remember more things despite the severe headache and huge blood loss, I remember one more thing. I was with my boyfriend, Siddharth, in the very car that was in ...

we didn't, but i did

April fools! I mean if you read the last post till the end, I said I will be discontinuing but here I am. That was a prank (if anyone cared). Back to the post :-   Hey! I wrote this 2 months back but the emotion still remains raw and fresh. Have a good read; you might need a tissue because I did.   Sto-rini - 12   The end of the academic year has become quite clear now. It has become a close reality unlike far. We could all sense it. And with the end, there comes new beginnings? No, with the end comes many celebrations and exams; goodbyes and tears; confessions and regrets. I experienced two of them.   First the celebrations, the farewell our juniors presented to us was, in one word, ' MARVELOUS' . It is probably THE best one in the world (a bit far-fetched but let me have it ffs). They did it so well; I can still hear the cheers and sing-along. I danced, which is so unlikely to happen. I am super happy to be their seniors <3 and even happi...

in the dark

DARK.  Yea that was supposed to be scary. I would recommend reading this at night.     Let the air come inside And shiver my spine Let me feel it Freeze my body   It’s dark outside I’m imagining in my mind That someone's watching But keeps disappearing   The curtain is moving Tube light is glowing The air is freezing Looks like it’s working The drug in the breeze That you put here   I hold my book like an armour Hoping it would protect me from you I know you're watching Tell me what's so interesting   One minute I see your head One minute I see your hands One minute I see you falling off the building One minute I see you flying   In the dark Into the dark Through the dark You  are the dark   I have been looking at you for an hour I still can't figure who you are   I was scared But now I'm not You just need a friend Because you're alone   Suddenly a lightning Revealing you to me I rub my eyes And you're already On your way to me...

hate

 We all heard about songs that are about liking or “loving” someone so I wrote this song about hating a person.   I have learnt about enemies to lovers But this time it’s the opposite   Oh no we have never been lovers And now I’m hoping we don’t even be friends   I kinda had a crush on you But then I saw the whole you Frankly speaking, the like meter came down by a lot Well I still decided to give it a shot   Months rolled by Noticed a lot of mistakes   Oooh it’s the way you walk The way you talk The way you make the lava in me boil   It’s in your words It’s in your ugly eyes I really want to make you disappear   I don’t hate a person by their looks But you gave me a lot more than the way you look   It’s your personality It’s your whole vibe It’s you.   I hate you. You’re the person I hate the most In the whole world   Oh, I hate you the most even at 6 feet far ...

listener

   I'm naturally a speaker Someone who speaks a lot That they deserve a podcast And yearns to have a YouTube channel With just them spe aking All day, all night long   An extrovert With love for their voice A terrible singer With an awesome music taste A funny person With humour so dark And finally a loud one With too many jokes on board   The catch? It’s you   But with you, I want to be a listener I want to listen to you speak   You don’t talk a lot But when you do I just want to stare at you With love in my eyes   I may not be the best listener in the world I’m not used to keeping my mouth shut for long But for you, I’ll try to be even good And always trying to be better   I could easily spend hours Just with you And talking with you And listening to you   I want you to be talkative with me And only me And I’ll be your listener And yours only ~The End~ i have a hard time listening to people. sometimes i'm afraid i might be turning into an i...

scared for us

    There’s a lot going in my head I’m scared of what’s ahead   People are scary They have eyes and Ears on the Back of their heads   I would never be scared If I never loved you But I did and now I feel like it was a mistake   I’m scared for us Falling apart And never being Who we’re before   I look in the mirror And see a fraud Who never got her shit together Because she is at fault   I’m scared of my future But I wanna fight alone I don’t need another Because too many cooks spoil the stew   People are scary With their eyes and Ears at the Back of their heads   I think I’m gonna Live the high school drama Hope it don’t Leave a trauma   I’m scared of us Not sure of what we would become   I'm scared of us Scared that the eyes around Would deceive us Leave us wounded   I’m scared that maybe The people who I loved Would turn their back on us And leave us deserted   Everything seems scarier I’m scared of the eyes I’m scared o...