An Orange Cloud

Trail Of Thought -49 Disassociating has been a problem for me since a few years and it got really intense in the last few months. “Dissociation is when you feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of who you are. It's a common response to stress or trauma and can affect anyone.” It’s the concept of feeling out of body and not feeling things in first person perspective.   For me there is this constant narrating deity in my mind that watches me from a third person view which is also visualised in my brains. Right now, I am looking at the screen but I can also visualise a view from the top corner of my room watching myself type letters into a laptop. And sometimes, I can imagine people watching me from the said view and commenting on it like one of those Korean shows.   I have already talked about this deity in a previous post, it’s hilarious if you want to help yourself. But this post is a bit different.   I’m using the word ...

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  I was going through my old poems and one thing caught my eye. I write a poem on every crush i've ever had since I started poetry. Sto-rini-31   Trail of Thoughts- 48 Hear me out, its just as much cringe it is to you as it is to me if not more. The fact that I would leave such apparent, obvious clues distributed evenly from beginning to end and I remember who it was about immediately, does not make me happy or proud. Well, not immediately. I would be reading a poem, clearly a poem about being heart-broken for being rejected by a love I have grown over the years with such passion unknown to the mankind and I’d leave a tiny obvious real life line and suddenly it hits me that it was about a 2 week crush on a celebrity who cameo’d in a show I was watching at the time. The heartbreak? Well, it was that he wouldn’t become a permanent cast member.   It doesn’t stop there. Back in school I had plenty of crushes, alas I was, just a teenage girl. I would read a poem ab...

  This is what I see pop at the corner of the screen when I searched for poem prompts on google. Trail Of Thoughts- 47   Nothing pisses me off more than ai trying to be creative or ‘aid’ in the creative process. When they said ai is the new future, it will be amazing for everyone, one corner of the internet convinced me it will be used for all the menial work we do in our daily lives- like dishwashing, laundry, cleaning, and more humanly dangerous jobs like mining, oil rigging, diving in deep ocean to fix submarines, solar installation etc, you get the point. Ai was brought to us as a promise to a convenient technological development. At least that’s what I was expecting.   Ai can now write you poems, stories, generate any image from a simple descriptive input. All the creative stuff that makes humans, humans can be done with a single click of prompt. And now, don’t come at me saying it takes creativity to write the prompt. What? Seriously? Look at yourself, lis...