An Orange Cloud

 this is a poem i wrote while talking with a friend, as one does, and this is my interpretation on their experience of wanting something so bad that they romanticised it being bad. sit back and read a tragedy unfold. only a tragedy if you suffer from sever fomo. for others, its a normal tuesday.  I wanted it so bad, I’ve romanticised all its bad.   I dreamt of our first big fight Considered sulking for a while. I day dreamt our differences in values, About politics and shows to watch.   All the minor disagreements, Coffee or tea on a Sunday morning. An early bird and a night owl, stay up all night; Wake up at 11 to see you already working.   The veggie wars, no peace till no peas; You’d hide my dislikes in the curry. But I’m a black belt in picky eating baby, I can find the greens in a blended gravy,   Explorer and a familiarity seeker; New lakes, new parks and bird watcher Meets old shows and sitcoms re-watcher. To...

  Second death It was 2am when I decided I need to let myself sleep after a long day of tomfoolery and screentime. But just then, a melody starts playing in my mind, I was writing, well, trying to write something the other night, but it didn’t feel natural like it used to; I forced myself to rhyme, it was like 2021 all over again, That frustration was let loose and words played at the back of my head. I headed for the pen and the diary beside me, Opened a page to the end of the book so I don’t write on my already vomited ink, this is what I wrote in the span of 36 minutes of writing in the dark, eyes closed, humming a forgotten song     Metaphors to carry the meaning, Simile to mirror it Reflect my experiences, Show and not tell.   Life isn’t a movie, it’s not scripted, Every action has a consequence.   May god be without you, what is a god without a witness?   Is there a being watching me, Does free will exist? ...

Trail Of Thought -49 Disassociating has been a problem for me since a few years and it got really intense in the last few months. “Dissociation is when you feel disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of who you are. It's a common response to stress or trauma and can affect anyone.” It’s the concept of feeling out of body and not feeling things in first person perspective.   For me there is this constant narrating deity in my mind that watches me from a third person view which is also visualised in my brains. Right now, I am looking at the screen but I can also visualise a view from the top corner of my room watching myself type letters into a laptop. And sometimes, I can imagine people watching me from the said view and commenting on it like one of those Korean shows.   I have already talked about this deity in a previous post, it’s hilarious if you want to help yourself. But this post is a bit different.   I’m using the word ...

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  I was going through my old poems and one thing caught my eye. I write a poem on every crush i've ever had since I started poetry. Sto-rini-31   Trail of Thoughts- 48 Hear me out, its just as much cringe it is to you as it is to me if not more. The fact that I would leave such apparent, obvious clues distributed evenly from beginning to end and I remember who it was about immediately, does not make me happy or proud. Well, not immediately. I would be reading a poem, clearly a poem about being heart-broken for being rejected by a love I have grown over the years with such passion unknown to the mankind and I’d leave a tiny obvious real life line and suddenly it hits me that it was about a 2 week crush on a celebrity who cameo’d in a show I was watching at the time. The heartbreak? Well, it was that he wouldn’t become a permanent cast member.   It doesn’t stop there. Back in school I had plenty of crushes, alas I was, just a teenage girl. I would read a poem ab...

  This is what I see pop at the corner of the screen when I searched for poem prompts on google. Trail Of Thoughts- 47   Nothing pisses me off more than ai trying to be creative or ‘aid’ in the creative process. When they said ai is the new future, it will be amazing for everyone, one corner of the internet convinced me it will be used for all the menial work we do in our daily lives- like dishwashing, laundry, cleaning, and more humanly dangerous jobs like mining, oil rigging, diving in deep ocean to fix submarines, solar installation etc, you get the point. Ai was brought to us as a promise to a convenient technological development. At least that’s what I was expecting.   Ai can now write you poems, stories, generate any image from a simple descriptive input. All the creative stuff that makes humans, humans can be done with a single click of prompt. And now, don’t come at me saying it takes creativity to write the prompt. What? Seriously? Look at yourself, lis...

  Trail Of Thoughts-46 Sto-rini-30 “Aren’t you bored?” my friend asked me. “Of what?” I asked curiously. They repeated, “of your life. I mean of the way you live. You go to college, study for 10-12 hours, and come back home, freshen up, watch TV for a while and go back to studying. Aren’t you bored?”   First of all, ouch.   When they said that, I thought of so many things, I got defensive. They immediately added, “don’t tell me now, tell me later after thinking about it.” They said calmly, as if they knew that I had a multi-universe moment just then. I thought about it, and then I didn’t because I had to study. The irony.   Being bored.   When they said that, the fact that they thought of it so much that they had to ask me, scared me. People around me can see me and probably think the same.   As for me, I love studying; I love the whole system of studying, teaching, exams. Call me a nerd. No buts. To make someone like me hate studying wo...