An Orange Cloud

  Oh captain, my captain, I see you everywhere   But I need to erase the pain, Numb it with the discomfort of freedom.   I need to dampen the spirits Steal joy like shushed laughs, Blank responses, Unprofessional show of teeth, Over explaining thoughts, Under-understanding of actions, Misinterpretation of expressions, Fumbling of well curated words, Mis-articulation of rehearsed thoughts, Choking up at the time of alarm, Freezing at the sight of fear Overtaken by fear of uncertain fear of failure.     I shut down the routes to road less taken, I shut off the demons singing poetry in my nerves, I scream at the nostalgia eating me alive, I laugh at the state of my mind I have chosen for myself.     Oh captain, my captain, What am I without my random scribbles of rhyming lines? What am I without my loud laughs at the whimsy of life? What am I without the curiosity for magic in my every day; While...

  It’s just January  Trail Of Thoughts-44 January can be the month of optimism. It has that potential AND the advantage.   It is the beginning of the year. No one can dampen your spirits or say a word that can falter your enthusiastic looking forwardness to life. Because it IS the beginning of the year.   It is a new beginning.   The other day, I was feeling a little down on not following through on my routine I planned for myself for the year. Then it clicked. It’s just January. I still have the whole year to mess-up- I’m kidding. It’s a huge relief. It is only five days in; it is a safe space for fuk-ups and failures. It is okay.   I saw a YouTube video the other day that talked about feeling overwhelmed when starting a new thing on the account of New Year. We put resolutions- a goal- an end, and fall back on the means. It gets overwhelming. The solution was to consider short term goals, instead of long term, to get the momentum goin...

 Nostalgia is the driving force for documentation  Trail Of Thoughts-43 At least for me, it is.   Every time I pick up my camera or the camera app in my phone, I think about how cool it would seem to re-visit the memories in few years time. It’s weird to be already living in the future while not even being in the present.   When experiences already turn into memories, it feels like self-sabotage at this point. Sabotaging the sweet enjoyment of the gift of now. The idea of imagining opening a time capsule while actively being the very item in it.    It’s hard not to think of any other reason when we document a moment, freeze the time, capture the present.   Wearing the lens of a different time, trying to look at the ‘now’ with a matured feeling, while simultaneously experiencing the moment with raw emotions, freshly. This might be the opposite of overthinking with the most similarities to overthinking. The concept of overthinking is pr...

  Heh, im back.  like i never left.   Sto-rini-29 Enough nonchalance,     HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I MISSED YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!!!!   Im very excited to be back. Funny how many people asked me about my blog, IN REAL LIFE. Makes you think posting is all public to the world haha. Kind of a reality check, honestly. It didn’t clock to me properly how visible this is to the public; I didn’t know I was standing on business.   I have counted the number of posts I missed (excluding the out of the blue hiatus announcement) and it is 13. Such a great coincidence, amirite? 13 posts is a little over 4 months of break. That’s a lot. The one thing I always had pride about my blog is the consistency and this is a blow to the core of my heart.     A lot has happened in the past few months, lot of adulting experiences (that I truly despise). These experiences showcase the inevitable passage of time and its effects on us merely, mortal...

 Before I say anything, I’m sorry. My last post has been on 20th august, well actually I removed my last post on 20th so technically; my last post has been on 10th august. It’s been 40 days since I have last updated my blog. Feels realllllly weird but ig the jinx finally caught on.  I kept thinking the main goal in a blog is consistency but when the quantity is prioritized over quality, the passion for the act fades away quicker. The pressure to catch on, the ticking clock as it hits 12am every 10 days was getting under my skin. I used to look forward to posting and sharing my poems and thoughts but lately it became all about just posting. Without any real idea or thought. In the words of an anonymous commenter on my most interesting blog post in a while I need to “post something interesting”. That stung. A bit. No, actually a bit more than I would like to admit. It came to this point where telling people I had a blog felt more exciting than actually posting in it which is so ...

Having siblings is the weirdest thing ever. peachrinq instagram in their reel talked about it pretty well. (Exceptionally well) So well that I’m completely ditching my original post for the day and typing this on the day of posting.   Trail Of Thoughts- 42 My point is having someone living in your house, having the same parents as you, sharing half your genes (and still looking like a rat); staying in your life (not minding their own business) if you want it or not for the rest of both of your lives (fortunately), fighting you for every waking moment of their lives, with their sole purpose to embarrass you, and at the same loving you unconditionally, being unable to bear it when disrespect hits either of you from anyone (it could be your own parents), having their back even if miles apart (kilometers isn’t pretty to say in poetry) is what makes siblings weird.   Would I recommend having siblings? Well it’s not my place to say, but I’d definitely recommend it. ...