An Orange Cloud

She suddenly realised she might be alone for the rest of her life   It has been exactly a week since the funeral.   The day she found out about it, or more like was told about it, was when she was on a vacation, the corporate kind. She wanted to take a break from the soul crushing work and toxic culture of the office and this meeting with an important overseas client could not come at a better time. Being the manager for the project of the client, she was the backbone of the meeting and there was no way she can miss it. And no worries, because her bags were practically packed the day, they announced the meeting (the dates weren’t even released yet). But there was a small hurdle to pass. She needed her husband’s approval to go.   After long thoughts and few days of sleeping on it, he reluctantly said yes. She was overjoyed and extremely happy. She packed her bags and left to the airport. She was a couple of hours early, too late in Indian standards, and was bro...

  Im living in minutes I look away for a while and it’s been 30 minutes   I could never look at the clock the same way For im being chased by the ghost called fast-forward It’s like my life has been taken away And im watching it as it moves forward.   Im living in minutes, It takes me 20 minutes to get a 5-min power nap.   Anything I do, the minutes pass by Without a warning, they whoosh by Im just a pedestrian in the highway of time Yet I get to the destination like I’m in f1   Im living in minutes, Until I’m doing a plank of 2 minutes, for when its 120 seconds.   It’s been just yesterday when the trees were lush, Been a minute and now it’s all branches and dust. All the flowers bloomed and bloomed No more left to colour the empty road now.   I’m living in minutes, Slots of 20 minutes, watching my favourite series.   One more episode and its 1 am, When will I ever learn my lesson? “Teaser ...

  Oh captain, my captain, I see you everywhere   But I need to erase the pain, Numb it with the discomfort of freedom.   I need to dampen the spirits Steal joy like shushed laughs, Blank responses, Unprofessional show of teeth, Over explaining thoughts, Under-understanding of actions, Misinterpretation of expressions, Fumbling of well curated words, Mis-articulation of rehearsed thoughts, Choking up at the time of alarm, Freezing at the sight of fear Overtaken by fear of uncertain fear of failure.     I shut down the routes to road less taken, I shut off the demons singing poetry in my nerves, I scream at the nostalgia eating me alive, I laugh at the state of my mind I have chosen for myself.     Oh captain, my captain, What am I without my random scribbles of rhyming lines? What am I without my loud laughs at the whimsy of life? What am I without the curiosity for magic in my every day; While...

  It’s just January  Trail Of Thoughts-44 January can be the month of optimism. It has that potential AND the advantage.   It is the beginning of the year. No one can dampen your spirits or say a word that can falter your enthusiastic looking forwardness to life. Because it IS the beginning of the year.   It is a new beginning.   The other day, I was feeling a little down on not following through on my routine I planned for myself for the year. Then it clicked. It’s just January. I still have the whole year to mess-up- I’m kidding. It’s a huge relief. It is only five days in; it is a safe space for fuk-ups and failures. It is okay.   I saw a YouTube video the other day that talked about feeling overwhelmed when starting a new thing on the account of New Year. We put resolutions- a goal- an end, and fall back on the means. It gets overwhelming. The solution was to consider short term goals, instead of long term, to get the momentum goin...

 Nostalgia is the driving force for documentation  Trail Of Thoughts-43 At least for me, it is.   Every time I pick up my camera or the camera app in my phone, I think about how cool it would seem to re-visit the memories in few years time. It’s weird to be already living in the future while not even being in the present.   When experiences already turn into memories, it feels like self-sabotage at this point. Sabotaging the sweet enjoyment of the gift of now. The idea of imagining opening a time capsule while actively being the very item in it.    It’s hard not to think of any other reason when we document a moment, freeze the time, capture the present.   Wearing the lens of a different time, trying to look at the ‘now’ with a matured feeling, while simultaneously experiencing the moment with raw emotions, freshly. This might be the opposite of overthinking with the most similarities to overthinking. The concept of overthinking is pr...

  Heh, im back.  like i never left.   Sto-rini-29 Enough nonchalance,     HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I MISSED YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!!!!   Im very excited to be back. Funny how many people asked me about my blog, IN REAL LIFE. Makes you think posting is all public to the world haha. Kind of a reality check, honestly. It didn’t clock to me properly how visible this is to the public; I didn’t know I was standing on business.   I have counted the number of posts I missed (excluding the out of the blue hiatus announcement) and it is 13. Such a great coincidence, amirite? 13 posts is a little over 4 months of break. That’s a lot. The one thing I always had pride about my blog is the consistency and this is a blow to the core of my heart.     A lot has happened in the past few months, lot of adulting experiences (that I truly despise). These experiences showcase the inevitable passage of time and its effects on us merely, mortal...