An Orange Cloud

  Hello everyone, this is an poet's note on the poem from the last post in my blog. Trail of thoughts-45 The poems name is “a sad man’s love”. It is, like the title suggests, about a sad man’s love. I wrote this poem with inspiration from a friend’s 2am confession. I’ve adapted to it; any coincidence is purely coincidental. I think its in the top 3 favourite poems of all time, all-time favourite is “You’re my autumn”. Nothing can ever beat that. Anyways, this post is a deeper dive into the poem and an analysis on the metaphors I’ve used throughout the tragic poem. Welcome to poet’s note on sad man’s love.   My favourite line in the whole poem is actually not from the poem itself. It’s the after note that I wrote. This was a tiny detail that I didn’t expect many to notice, therefore I’m putting it out here. The main character will always feel small before his love interest, and the love itself. this is a sign of putting the person on a pedestal, higher than the gr...

  “There’s some life in me in the form of love for Her.” The day I stop, The life ceases to exist, While I stay alive. With void for a heart.   “Maybe I don’t deserve Her.” Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. The life in me, Was dead all along.   “It’s complete darkness.” There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, But im all curled up, With my head in my hands.   “I love Her” It’s a matter of time, or not. “She doesn’t love me”, At least not the way wish.   “My absence may not affect Her on a great level” Her presence makes the light warmer, The tunnel more lighter.   “With or without me” She can be.   But for me, the tunnel closes behind her, It is getting colder, Darker, And worthless.   “i don’t want to trouble Her” i only wish for Her happiness. There’s enough for me, In the laughs of Her with me.   Or without me.   Does it really matter?   Does my l...

  I saw you in the clouds the other night, You were a blurry image in my eyes   I’ve seen you though a thick fog I followed you without a thought   You were leading me to nowhere And I've got no place to stay   Is this what you’ve wanted me to do? To make the grave mistake of being lured?   Is this how it’s supposed to end? Or is the something from the past?   If I could talk to old me I would not disturb the destiny I would not be me If I erased what made me, me   And what made me become the person I am ur actions and the words you pierce me through Has no definite answer, but I know you’re the wolf and I’m the lamb   I bled to the floor, into a puddle Never expected this sadness, so sudden.   Well what is sadness, if not a surprise? What is sadness if it doesn’t catch you off guard? What is sadness if not a peak-a-boo? What is sadness if not an uninvited visitor? What is sadness if...

  Im living in minutes I look away for a while and it’s been 30 minutes   I could never look at the clock the same way For im being chased by the ghost called fast-forward It’s like my life has been taken away And im watching it as it moves forward.   Im living in minutes, It takes me 20 minutes to get a 5-min power nap.   Anything I do, the minutes pass by Without a warning, they whoosh by Im just a pedestrian in the highway of time Yet I get to the destination like I’m in f1   Im living in minutes, Until I’m doing a plank of 2 minutes, for when its 120 seconds.   It’s been just yesterday when the trees were lush, Been a minute and now it’s all branches and dust. All the flowers bloomed and bloomed No more left to colour the empty road now.   I’m living in minutes, Slots of 20 minutes, watching my favourite series.   One more episode and its 1 am, When will I ever learn my lesson? “Teaser ...

  Oh captain, my captain, I see you everywhere   But I need to erase the pain, Numb it with the discomfort of freedom.   I need to dampen the spirits Steal joy like shushed laughs, Blank responses, Unprofessional show of teeth, Over explaining thoughts, Under-understanding of actions, Misinterpretation of expressions, Fumbling of well curated words, Mis-articulation of rehearsed thoughts, Choking up at the time of alarm, Freezing at the sight of fear Overtaken by fear of uncertain fear of failure.     I shut down the routes to road less taken, I shut off the demons singing poetry in my nerves, I scream at the nostalgia eating me alive, I laugh at the state of my mind I have chosen for myself.     Oh captain, my captain, What am I without my random scribbles of rhyming lines? What am I without my loud laughs at the whimsy of life? What am I without the curiosity for magic in my every day; While...

Sometimes I wish that I can just lay on my bed, cry about all my problems, right from the beginning like when my dad tricked me into eating my jalebi when I was like 3 to the unhappened future events like being on my deathbed with my husband on my side in the hospital bed weeping as I take my last breath. I like doing that.   The misery I don’t despise.   That feeling of melancholy that brings me closer to the box I filled with emotions and shut close could be days ago, or even years in the past. That feeling of being wrapped around with a warm heavy blanket even on a sunny day with fan on full speed and AC on blast.   Sometimes I wish to take comfort in the sadness that washes over me due to a tiny conflict.     I wish to be covered with dark grey clouds ready to storm all over my mind.   I wish to stay in a dark blue walled hotel room, with paintings of pretty little flowers not yet ready to bloom, with waterfalls, not so glory when lo...