An Orange Cloud

  Chapter 10     Nakshatra     Fool by Frankie cosmos has been in my head the whole day today. I’ll remember to listen to it.   When I was a kid, we used to move a lot. I studied in a different school almost every year and sometimes more than one in the same year. That was very messy. I asked my parents many times. They never gave me a straight answer about why we kept moving. So I stopped asking. Asking them. Now, I ask myself.   I love interviewing myself, it’s really fun! As a single child, my evenings were really boring for a few hours on a stretch. My parents believed in a zero screen-time policy so I spent my leisure time writing, drawing, dancing, and occasionally interviewing myself.   I have been asking myself questions for a few years now- weird, out-of-pocket street interview questions that have a niche 500 word answer that I laugh at while or after finishing.   That’s not the point. The point is there i...

  23-11-2021     I always liked maths when I was a kid But it all changed when they invited Greek   Never knew how things could be So complex and I disliked it   I couldn’t hate something That I have loved all these years     Felt sad but couldn’t do anything Thought that it’d be ok if I worked hard for it   I never had to be so scared for my Exams until today, I hate changes   The few important problems they gave Were more than enough to practice   But then suddenly the four walls broke apart Revealing the world to my little self   It was quite a phase I was quite dazed To run till the end of the maze Couldn’t look at my face   To run was the only thing taught to us It was never a marathon to begin with Always a sprint and always will be           Wondered if I’d like it If I chased for it   But now it just feel...

 TW: mentions of d34th, reincarnation and love. Trail Of Thoughts-38 What if you fall in love with an immortal and now you are left with a choice, 1.     Leave your life behind, become immortal and rule the Kingdom with the love of your life forever more (literally). Watch your loved ones from earth all d1e and reincarnate. 2.       Live with your love for as little as human’s existence and leave your love to be alone for the eternity of their life. Rose from B eauty And The Beast What if it becomes true? When we say I love you forever Do we mean forever or Just days till the love ends?   When we say I would d?e for you Do we mean to sacrifice or Just dying with them together?   When we say I will wait an eternity for you Do we actually mean it?     The idea of living forever will always haunt me. Sometimes the beauty of things is that it ends. I’d much rather be nostalgic and sad than live the...

If I told you, you’d go mad. If I told you I don’t want to go, you’d go mad If I told you I want to go, you’d go mad If I told you what I wanted to wear, you’d go mad If I don’t wear what you want me to, you’d go mad If I stayed up late, you’d go mad If I don’t finish my chores, you’d go mad If I do what I want, you’d go mad If I do what you want in my way, you’d go mad If I told you I was heartbroken, you’d go mad If I told you I was burnt out, you’d go mad If I am depressed, you’d go mad If I don’t say anything at all, you’d still go mad. What would you do if I told you that I loved you? Would you still be mad? I would. . This piece is not intentional towards anyone but a mere imagination brought into life through words. Imagine an over-controlling person in someone’s life. They love them but it is bad love and they know it. “Life goes on”, everyone around them says it. But that shouldn’t mean they should accept it, right? So at the end they realize it is bad (f...

TW: mentions of r-pe, bl0od This is an analogy, don’t take it literally. So basically this is about situations where you over think and rip off the band aid. Forgive me that was another analogy.   Let me explain with a small example. Imagine there was a test tomorrow. You studied really hard, like you pulled an all-nighter for it. Later you find out the exam is very easy. Almost too easy. It’s not because you studied so well, because all your friends who didn’t study like you got the same marks as you.   So ya.   Searching metaphors in everything but in reality there is nothing interesting in it.   There are times in life when you put in a lot of efforts even when it’s not needed.       "The Absinthe Drinker" by Edgar Degas     Was it a mosquito? Or did I just hit myself too hard?   Was it a 6 feet deep pool? Or did I just drown in a pond?   Was it a heart break? Or did I just cry over a...

  I click not interested for all the love posts on instagram Because I don’t think love exists like that   I don’t want stuff you can see I need the love that one can feel   I want the kind of love that starts with friends And our death is where it ends.   I want the kind of love That makes me the happiest in the world   I want the kind of love Helps me calm down   The kind of love That tells me to self love   The kind of love Till death do us apart   The kind of love That doesn’t kill each other   The kind of love That I would look forward to   The kind of love That I’ve always dreamt of.   I want the kind of love That makes me appreciate love. Helps me love love. Helps me cry happy tears. Helps me feel. Helps me conceal the fear. Keeps the skies clear.   2-9-24   Weathers the storms in my mind When I feel my worst When I feel like nothing...

  What do you want me to say? I don’t know what you want me to say,   I think you’re overreacting He is just a friend You’re borderline insane If you think there’s a link   Oh baby, calm down Nothing’s ever gonna go wrong Oh baby, keep it low I don’t want others to know   Why don’t you understand? Why are you jumping into conclusions? Why don’t you keep your mind open? Why don’t you keep us open?   I’m just saying I’m getting bored. It’s not serious but just letting you know.   I am sorry if you got hurt I was going through something Even though you think it’s not serious I was also going through silent battles.   I’m sorry you forgot to remind me of your birthday That is why I couldn’t wish you on that day I’m sorry but I forgive you bae It was an honest mistake that you made  

  I watch you fall in love While I save myself. Its heart wrenching To see someone waiting And you know you won’t Take them to their home.   I am not sure if I want you To fall for me Because it feels nice To be admired.   But then again, I can’t Torture you with The pain that comes with love.   The pain that comes with loving And not being loved back.   I read the books that Explain all sorts of Loves and their paybacks But never experienced one.   I watch you cry for me While I smile without glee. I’m not sure what to do Except to say I told you so.   I watch you break for me But I’m not the glue you need.   I watch you become a hero But I’m not you’re heroine.   I watch you become the devil for me But I’m not the angel in the sky flying.                       ...

5th july, 2022  “But sometimes, when I look in her eyes, that’s where I find A glimpse of us”   But why is that the glimpse of us Is painted in red but not of love   Almost as if we were Never meant to be together   Like a boomerang You came back my life   But I was still bruised by the Love you gave me before   I guess the glimpse of us That you saw in my eyes Told you to forget us And go back to you and me   The picture in red All over my head Never showed a Tint of rose   Roses are red And so is blood Pink meant love And red always hatred   Cuz every time when you look in my eyes You see a glimpse of the picture Painted in red Separating you and I   It was never us Always us Fighting for love Something we never had For each other, oh   I called you my home And you did the same But it was just a door To the unrequited love.   The glimp...

i have seen it all, The darkness lurking all around. i have experienced it all, The many wounds on my heart show it all. . Is there any love left inside of me? Am i even worthy of anything? These questions keep me awake While my tears dry up on my face. . Barren land surrounds my broken home i can’t even find a single brick of hope Tragedy fills up my eyes, While a smile covers my bleak life. . What is life without living, but a shell with nothing; Not even a life, if you ask me. . i can sense myself falling, falling, falling, falling Nothing to grab on to Nothing to live for, Except to hold on Till i stop falling one day. . Is not falling better than falling? Is life prettier if i stop falling down, ... And fall in love? . But what if   i’m incapable of love? What if life is but a lesson? What if my life was never worth anything? . All the while i fall, in the dark, dark night i wish for a star, a wish so subtle...

    I hope you don’t fall in love With another person,   ... Until you stop mourning About that one person.   A masked face on the outside Still loving that one girl deep inside I don’t think the present will love it If you keep living in the past.   Maybe just maybe Have you given a thought, Of how she might’ve forgotten you The day you guys bid goodbye, The day you were sure Would be the last day Her eyes would meet yours?   Maybe just maybe, Have you given a thought Of how the people you now spend time with Are a part of your life, While you still mourn the void That can be filled by only her?   Maybe just maybe Did you happen to think If you deserve more than A forgotten love?   Maybe just maybe You deserve love That’s looking at you Right now While you still search for hers.   Maybe just maybe You’re still blind And the love you thought eternal Has lost its spark Yet you still look for it.   Maybe just maybe You could stop living in...