An Orange Cloud

    There’s a lot going in my head I’m scared of what’s ahead   People are scary They have eyes and Ears on the Back of their heads   I would never be scared If I never loved you But I did and now I feel like it was a mistake   I’m scared for us Falling apart And never being Who we’re before   I look in the mirror And see a fraud Who never got her shit together Because she is at fault   I’m scared of my future But I wanna fight alone I don’t need another Because too many cooks spoil the stew   People are scary With their eyes and Ears at the Back of their heads   I think I’m gonna Live the high school drama Hope it don’t Leave a trauma   I’m scared of us Not sure of what we would become   I'm scared of us Scared that the eyes around Would deceive us Leave us wounded   I’m scared that maybe The people who I loved Would turn their back on us And leave us deserted   Everything seems scarier I’m scared of the eyes I’m scared of the ears That follow me, Keep following me   Hope everythi

  This is for all my 'therapist friends' who are not just a therapist. But humans, like us.   You would give me key and I could talk Am I a mannequin or a toy from the store?   You come to me to spill your tea But right when I start, you leave   I’m just a therapist for your rants No matter how late (it is 3 am)   All you want is someone to just listen to your shit While you leave them when the deed is done   I know you give zero darns But oh boy, I give you so much love   I feel like a mannequin I fight the battle within   Alone, always But you, under rays                                                                                                   Life felt lifeless With no one to listen to me I felt hopeless With you leaving me   I saw no light While you were under spotlight   I see passersby And I see you passing by   I wait for you to come to me Even if it’s just for you to leave             The key to my heart The one that starts the clock Like a therapist but less Si

Everyone has their own versions and this is mine.   Trail Of Thoughts-  17   In this episode of trail of thoughts, I’ll be presenting my arguments on why being alive is better than otherwise.   Before I start, I want to tell you something. I am posting this now because last night I wanted to be the “otherwise”. Why? Simple, it’s the stress and pressure. Pressure from whom? Me. It’s the same old perfectionist in me feeding me all the intrusive thoughts. It says that it’s too late and nothing can be done better and right now everything is a mess and it will stay the same no matter how much I try. Now (the next morning) that I think about it, it sounds quite stupid and foolish. Reminds me of something my teacher told me when she saw the stress in my eyes. She said, “If you’re stressed about the future, try living for one day”. That got me pondering about life and living.   If you read any of my posts, you will understand that I focus mainly on living and enjoying the prese