why i think living is better than dy1ng

By Rini -

Everyone has their own versions and this is mine.

 

Trail Of Thoughts-  17

 

In this episode of trail of thoughts, I’ll be presenting my arguments on why being alive is better than otherwise.

 

Before I start, I want to tell you something. I am posting this now because last night I wanted to be the “otherwise”. Why? Simple, it’s the stress and pressure. Pressure from whom? Me. It’s the same old perfectionist in me feeding me all the intrusive thoughts. It says that it’s too late and nothing can be done better and right now everything is a mess and it will stay the same no matter how much I try.

Now (the next morning) that I think about it, it sounds quite stupid and foolish.

Reminds me of something my teacher told me when she saw the stress in my eyes. She said, “If you’re stressed about the future, try living for one day”. That got me pondering about life and living.

 

If you read any of my posts, you will understand that I focus mainly on living and enjoying the present. Even some friends would connect me with a hero in some movie from 10 years ago and say “y'all are the same! You just want to live today and worry about tomorrow when it becomes today” (they didn’t exactly say this but anyways)

 

But, trust me; I am not always like that. It’s a mask I wear to hide the worrying me.

 

Enough about me, let’s talk about the actual topic. Why I think living is better than dying.

 

There are many reasons, and as a frequent reel watcher, I notice some mental awareness pages post stuff about this.

Let’s begin with the list

 

Bubbles (specifically soap bubbles) - who doesn’t love them. I LOVE bubbles.  If you’re alive, you can travel to a lot of places and enjoy yourself. Being alive comes with a lot privileges, like being able smell that fragrance before rain or that smell in new fresh book or from a flower shop or some weird smells only you like and your friends hate it so it just makes you like it even more. Oh you are also gifted with tasting food! If you’re alive, you can eat that delicious dish your mom makes which has a lot of history too. or that cake from your favourite bakery or that candy that gives you lot of nostalgia or that drink you so hate but you secretly like it OR that chocolate ice-cream from your favourite brand right across your home. Speaking of home, if you’re alive you can be in your home.

 

You can be with your favourite human beings, everyone has them (if you think you don’t, who did you think of when I said favourite humans?) if you’re alive, everyone around you is happy.

Well at least me.

 

To my mates:

We are in the phase where life seems tuff but like I said earlier, let’s be depressed together.

 

Back to post.

 

Being alive is sooo much more awesome than all the things I just said. Now let’s do a speed run

You can hug people

You can see flowers and collect them

You can make a bouquet out of the flowers you collected

You can give it to someone

You can see the happiness on their face and eyes

You can feel happy too

You can enjoy the wind

You can fly kites or airplanes with your friends or family or both

You can feel the rain patter on your skin

You can make paper boats, if you don’t know how; you can learn how to make one

You can race with them and maybe win

You can crack jokes and you can laugh

You can have fun enjoying

You can speak your thoughts, write poems, sing songs, dance to music, have a passion, and try hard to achieve it

You can be successful.

 

Don’t forget the possibility that you can achieve all your dreams, don’t forget that you’ll be the happiest one day (if not now). Please don’t forget that your existence is a blessing for some and they love having you around.

 

Please live your life, if not just exist for a while but don’t ever leave. Don’t you ever leave us all alone.

 

 

This is for a few people in my life and hopefully they read this. Also I’m not forcing you to live and stuff. I’m just saying my thoughts which I can’t say in real life. Think of it as a letter.

I honestly don’t know much about mental illnesses. And I don’t know if this is right or wrong. Wow im scared to post this.

 

But I want to. Just remember I’m not a profession but rather a mere school student who posts on her blog as a loving hobby. Don’t look into this too much but at the same time, don’t not give it any thought. (I’m asking you to give it a thought; English is messy T_T)

 

This was a spontaneous post, I wasn’t planning on posting this but here we go.

Hope it was a good decision. Well I just hope it wasn’t a bad one.

 

Anyways, have a nice day and an awesome February.

 

Yours lovingly,

Rini.

 

 

 

 

TDD:  ten day diary

Hii! Past 10 days felt slow fr. my bro says it because I’m slacking.

Anyways, they were quite eventful so let’s go day by day

1st of Feb: I was SHOOK that it was Feb. already. Also I wasted a ton of time waiting for that comet to show up. Mf

2nd of Feb: THE SKY. It was freaking awesome. I made a video addressing the existential crisis I was going through.

3rd of Feb.: had a ton lot of fun at school!!

4th of Feb.: same!! Also went to a relative’s house

5th of Feb.: still at the relative’s house, had fun!

6th of Feb.: exhausted AF

7th of Feb.: discovered my way back to peace. Logged out of insta and shifted my overflowing need for screen time to comics

8th of Feb.: period fun

9th of Feb.: hella lot of pain lezzgoo

This hormonal imbalance be making me feel alive fr

 

Oh and my birthday is here!!!! The next TDD is going to be awesome hahaha

 

Love you,

Me.

Comments

Post a Comment

my popular posts!!

new girl

By Rini -
  Sto-rini- 14 It was back in 2019; I was studying 9th. The academic year had just begun and we were all breathing the air of relief because of the 8th class storm. We had public exams in 8th, our first exposure to outside correction and the new type of stress due to pressure.   9th class was our step to freedom after the battle. As storm passed, calmness spread. Little did I know, it was the sign for yet another storm that was to come, but this time it was coming for me.   "A new student has joined in 9th A", announced my class teacher, we got excited. I still remember that day, crystal clear. She waddled in, shy and sat behind me. On her first day, we swarmed around her introducing ourselves. I remember my first words to her, "Nice to meet you. My name is Rini".   We shook hands. It wasn't firm, she was rather weak. She was slim. Not too thin, not too fat. Just the right type. She had a fair complexion, clear skin, thick hair, smooth hands, beautif...
Read more!

her and him

By Rini -
He is always saying that they have nothing in common but she, a sitcom addict, says that’s where magic happens.   Trail of thoughts- 23 When people are different, there is space between their hearts. One can say that their love for each other and them as a whole is common enough. But she says that the bridge that connects their soul is built by them with their own minds and hands. “If we have nothing in common, so be it. We can do or create hobbies that both of us can enjoy doing together”.   Maybe just love is enough, but are you sure?   He loves watching movies and series. He loves re-watching his favourites. She passes her time watching 20 minute recap of famous movies. She thinks movies today are lengthy without a story.   So, he made it his life’s mission to narrate her movies he watched, re-watched and loved so far. That works for both of them.   She loves writing. She writes poetry and sometimes stories. When she asks him to read th...
Read more!

rubber hands

By Rini -
  My eyes feel heavy, I can’t feel my body. I feel like I’m dying. I woke up not knowing how I even fell asleep. Was it even sleep I have woken up from? But first, why does my whole body ache like crazy? I can’t even open my fucking eyes. With all my might, I open them slightly. First thing I see is red coloured sand. Just sand everywhere, red precisely. Red mountains, red sky, red sandstorms, red ground, and red …… liquid? Is that blood? Am I bleeding?? I feel a metallic taste in my mouth. It is blood. I try lifting my hands and they’re painted bright red. I have been hurt badly. Don’t know how, don’t know when, and don’t know why.   Wait, why don’t I remember why or how? I don’t remember anything. Why is that? I go deep into my thoughts and suddenly a memory snaps. A car accident. There was a car accident. Trying to remember more things despite the severe headache and huge blood loss, I remember one more thing. I was with my boyfriend, Siddharth, in the very car that was in ...
Read more!

what's the worst thing that could happen?

By Rini -
  When people say “what’s the worst thing that can happen” before doing the most diabolical stunt in their life, my mind just wanders in the grey area of life. Trail Of Thoughts - 34 Let me explain. When I started this blog, my first thought was “Omg lezgoo ahhh” and second was, “what’s the worst possibility”. The answer to that question was “no one would read it lol”. That initially gave me a boost to posting anything I want and I still equip that in the back of my mind before I click on ‘publish’.  Today, I realized I wasn’t thinking of the worst possible consequence, but rather “a” consequence that could be both a win and a loss for me. I don’t think my mind wrapped around that saying properly. Now that I am older and wiser, I think the worst thing that could happen when blogging is the following: This might end up on some wrong person’s feed somehow; they read it and interpret it in the wrong way. And not stop there. He (suppose) not only hates it but makes it his whole pu...
Read more!

one must imagine Sisyphus happy

By Rini -
  I just spent the last hour learning about Sisyphus, a myth, and  Albert Camus , a famous French philosopher. Camus said, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” So what is all this, who is Sisyphus, why must we imagine him happy, why did Camus say that? (And what am I yapping)   Trail Of Thoughts - 33 Sisyphus is a Greek mythology story. The shorter version is that he was an extremely overconfident and arrogant king, basically hubristic. He cheated on death twice and the Gods got mad at him and gave him a punishment. The punishment was for him to push a boulder, a giant rock, to the top of a steep hill and just when he would reach the top, the Gods would make the boulder slide down making Sisyphus start all over again. This was to last an eternity. For AN ETERNITY, this guy should push a giant rock up a hill just for it to fall again and again and again.   So why did Albert Camus say that one must imagine Sisyphus happy? Why must one imagine a never-ending pun...
Read more!