episode 3 of "I can't sing"

 before attacking this one, check out the first two episodes. click here for Episode 1 and Episode 2

“I really really like you Aditya!” I exclaim, my heart beating louder than the bullet bike that passed us. My vision is blurry, my brown hair is flying all over my face because of the wind, and the traffic is nonchalant. This was not exactly what I had in my mind when I wanted to confess to him. But I loved it nonetheless. And I never even guessed this would happen.

Every morning when I walk to school, I would see him walk with confidence and allure, or that’s what everyone says about him. But all I see is a socially awkward guy who doesn’t want to start any conversation with anyone. He wears his black ear buds and holds his phone in his left hand. His school bag is completely black like he is hiding some dark secrets. The school uniform fit his physique like it was made for him. His tall frame really complements the proportions of the uniform. The uniform is red checked shirt and cream coloured pant for boys. For the girls it’s similar but the shirt looks better on boys. There is an ID card for everyone to wear but that just gives them more reason to hate the uniform. But here, Aditya always wears his ID card before he even enters the school. Everyone just wears them if a teacher asks for them. Well I didn’t know that, so I put mine on while my mom joked I looked like a saleswoman, classic mom.

Ever since the first day I entered the school at 8:40am, the time when he arrives at school, I decided to, no matter what, always go on time. On time here is obviously at 8:40am. And like every day for the past year, I got ready, ate my breakfast, prayed with my atheist heart to see him today as well. And fortunately, my luck was persistent as I see him just when I got out of my house. 

“Heyyy!” I shout after getting a few steps away from my house so my mom wouldn’t inquire me in the evening with all the “Who is he? Do you like him? Does he like you too?” like mom even I don’t know, ok?? He removes one bud and looks back with a raised eyebrow and when he finally sees me he stops with a reticent smile. I pant as I run to him and stop 3 feet from him. “You didn’t have to run, you know.” he says with a small smile on his usual poker face. +100 points my mind says followed by a ding. He looks even more handsome when he smiles, I think to myself. All my new friends say they never saw him smile and that he always had a poker face makes me feel proud that I might have been the first one. Every day when I walk with him to the school, I can feel the daggers on my back from them jealous people. I mean no one stopped them from approaching him, then why hate me for doing so? “You didn’t have to have such long legs, you know” I say, slightly mocking his speech.

He chuckles lightly and removes the other bud from his ears. “What were you listening to today?” I ask curiously staring at his ear buds case. He notices my peeking and hands me one of them. I put it in my ear, and hear some instrumental. It’s piano, I love piano, and it sounds lovely yet tragic. It’s the kind of music that would either ruin your happy mood or better it. But it confused me. Why was he listening to sappy music this early in the morning? I look at him with a question mark on my face and I catch him staring at me intensively. So intensively I forget what I was about to ask him. I give him back the ear bud with flushed cheeks swearing not to look him in the eyes until I’m done freaking blushing. I hate the effect he has on me with just eye contact. I mean which girl is THIS flustered from a simple eye contact that didn't even last longer than 5 seconds but someone who is down bad. 

It’s so embarrassing. 

As we walk for a few minutes in silence which I think he prefers than a conversation with anyone, including me- “So, did you do the math homework?” he asks while my mind stuns but my mouth says “Yaa it was meh”. He half expected me to forget it because I can see the slightest disappointment in his eyes. Oh his beautiful eyes. He wears glasses occasionally, like today. This is another component I pray in the morning. I like when he wears glasses, even though you can’t really see his eyes from afar, my classmate complaints. But that’s what I like. Not everyone should get to see his pretty eyes, only close people should. And I can. I look at him a little too long than I planned to. He doesn’t break eye contact as well. Guess we really are just going to look at eachoth- “OW” my feet hits a rock and I stagger. He catches me just in time. Uff I’m safe. I don’t realize yet that his hands are on my waist.

For a moment the whole world freezes. The angry uncle in the car froze with his car, the crow above us trying to poop froze, the clouds so gracefully floating above us froze, the two little squirrels fighting for a nut are frozen, and the wind was frozen. He was also frozen. His face was only inches away from mine, and for a second we almost breathed the same air. He was so close I could smell his perfume, so handsome. Even his perfume feels like it was made for him. He has a tight grip on my waist. His eyes show that he is worried. 

“Oh! Thank you!” everything unfreezes. If I thought my cheeks were flushed before, I was a fool because now not only my cheeks but my whole face is red including ears. But I’m not the only one who became a tomato. I see him, he is flustered too, and his fair skin really gives out any crimson on his face. He is handsome even when he is embarrassed. I wiggle out of his hold and stand before him like a little kid who broke her mom’s favourite glass bowl (guilty). 

It starts getting windy out of nowhere, it might rain. I think to distract myself from his intense eye contact. He looks like he wants to say something but something is stopping him. He looks both focused and zoned out. He moves his head closer to me as if to say something. He opens his mouth and mumbles something. My heart beats faster than the damn bullet that passed us just now. Why does it feel like déjà vu? Like it happened before? It feels weird. I feel weird. What’s happening? Am I hallucinating? Am I…….. dreaming? 

I suddenly wake up; I’m in my bed sweating. It’s 5:30am right now, a time I never saw on my clock before. It is half morning outside. I had the same dream every day since the incident last week. Last week when he chose the sad love song amidst the multiple happy love ones. I dream about being with him and confessing to him. It’s the same one. We meet in the morning; walk together and at the end I confess. This time I accidently tripped, before it was a car honk to which we were surprised, the other morning it was a bird pooping on us. It’s the same, no wonder this time I felt déjà vu. 

I feel sadness filling my heart. But I can’t cry. Not when it’s not even confirmed. What’s not confirmed, you ask? I don’t know too. I need to know something, hell anything. Why did he choose that song? Why couldn’t he choose a normal one like everyone else? Why does he have to be so extra? I hate him. A single action of his is giving me daydreams. Why can’t he be normal and give me nightmares, no he HAD to give me day dreams, like who does that?

I hear the alarm sound from my parents room, “It’s 6 o’ clock” I say to myself without looking at the clock. If I sleep now, I have to wake up in an hour anyways. I guess I’ll sleep. You thought I’d wake up early? Hell no. 

I wake up at 7:20am with my mom barging in with the “It’s 8!!” I got used to it so I just say, “Didn’t your dad teach you how to see the time?” while rolling my eyes. “Jokes on you, we have digital clocks in the house”, she says smugly like that was supposed to offend me. If anything she proved my point. Well that’s how it is at my home. 

I got ready, had my breakfast, and didn’t pray to the god because it doesn’t matter. I choose to maintain some distance from today. I started off a little early this time, not caring if I run into him or not. A little part of my heart still wishes to see his face but it’s okay.

“Hey”, I hear a familiar voice from behind. I turn around to see, it’s none other than truck-kun. That’s how I died. 

KIDDING.

It was Uma. My favourite band member, our guitarist. A small part of me wished it was him. But hey, he is very punctual, who am I to expect him to come faster? No, that was not a rhetorical question, I really want to know. What am I to him? I zone out for a while and I hear a cough sound. “So you really wished it was someone other than me, huh” Uma says with an ‘I’m not sad, I’m disappointed’ face. I laugh and we both laugh.

She is not wrong though.

~The End~

And the drama continues. 

I have been reading fiction so I can become a better writer for Nakshatra’s sake. (definitely not to feed my boredom).

Well well,

Have a greattttt august- Wait it's not august anymore

Have a great rest of the year 💃💃💃💃💃💃

OK baiiiiiiii

I hope you guys love today's episode!!!!