I cant sing

I want to sing till I can’t breathe

All because I want you to notice me.

 

Oh, I can’t sing,

Yet I find all the lyrics

To sing the right thing.

Everything is rhyming.

 

I can’t sing,

But I wish I did.

So I can turn

All awkward lines into songs.

 

I can’t sing,

And you can.

I’ll write all my love,

And you’ll sing it out loud.

 

I can’t sing,

Do you even know I love you?

Do you ever think about me,

While you’re singing in the crowd?

 

I can’t sing,

To you I’m just a poet.

But I’m a girl,

Confessing though your songs.

 

To you.

 

I can’t sing,

But I can learn,

If it’s the only way

You’ll listen.

 

I wrote many songs,

Yet you choose the one,

That stabs my heart

In the right place,

 

A song about

Loving

Someone

Else.

 

Do you know?

Or do you not?

 

How much I love

The way you are.

 

How is it that

When you sing

Your eyes

Never search for mine

It’s always hers

 

It’s always her

Whom you

Sing my love to.

 

 

 

This poem is rather a sad one. I was listening to instrumental music and soft lyrical songs on shuffle. While humming to the music and trying to sing like Laufey, I suddenly realised that I could not.

I can't sing. I mean for me, yes, I can sing, but for others it is "pls stop".

 

Let me tell you the story behind this poem.  (You can totally skip this)

There is a girl, our main character, who is a part of a school band. She is the lyricist, the poet, the essence of the band. The band is famous all over the school and they’re known in all classes. The reason for their popularity in the most judgmental form of humans, the teenagers, is that they write and compose their own songs. The band consists of a lyricist, lead singer, a backup singer, a guitarist and a drummer. Their songs are mostly powerful, upbeat, and simply refreshing. But this summer, they decided to spice up and do a soft love song.

 

While discussing the details, the members looked at the poet and asked if she can produce something of love. They were all doubtful as all they sing is upbeat and she is very good at writing them. But little did they know they totally underestimated her capability. She chuckled at them rather suspiciously, reached out to her bag and took out bunch of papers. They were all curiously looking at her. She took out about 10 papers and slammed them on the table. With a grin she asserted, “Pick one”.

 

All 10 papers were 10 different love songs she wrote in the past couple of years. She was filled with pride and content. All the months of carrying the scribbled papers finally did some good. They were all reading them and silently blushing at the words. But all she could see was how seriously her crush- I mean the lead singer was scrutinizing the lines. Oh yes, I forgot to mention this; she has had a huuuge crush on him since the beginning. Well he is the main reason she even joined the band in the first place. She let out a chuckle while looking at his scrunched up eyebrows over some lovey dovey poems. That got everyone’s attention. They all needed to say something about the poems, something positive, something uplifting and complimenting. But all that came out of their lips coloured with blush were, “love ‘em all!!” she thanked them but was still deeply invested in what ‘he’ had to say.

 

She was feeling all sorts of emotion, heart beat increased with every paper he read. What if he knows that all the poems were written about him? Worse, to him? Will she be kicked out of the band? Will she be banned? Will they all stop talking with her? But they were her best friends outside school! She cannot afford to lose the- “dude, why so serious?” interrupted the drummer, goofily. The lead singer sighed with fingers on his chin and said, “Let me read all so we can choose one. But one thing is bothering me, they all seem too lovey-dovey.” Crack, her heart into million pieces. “Too lovey dovey?” she thought to herself, and why is that a bad thing she pondered. While the backup singer decided to sit back and enjoy the drama unfold, the guitarist, like the empathy she was, read her mind and said it out loud.

 

The irritated singer took one paper and put it in the middle and said, “love this the most, we are doing this.” The members found it cocky but they were really in the mood to do any of them so they just accepted it. The backup singer was sad that she couldn’t enjoy her bucket of popcorn. But when the poet saw which poem it was, she was devastated. It was that one sad song among all the love songs. It was about love too but the other side of it, the rainy side of the rainbow. One where it rains a lot, and continues to rain but to no avail of a rainbow. One where the skies are always black and cloudy but never sunshine. One where the garden resembles a cemetery with dead souls wandering. That poem was about loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

 

That got her thinking, does he know? Or worse, is there someone else?

 

~the endddddd….??

TDD- ten day diary

something new. my college started teaching a theory subject this week and they posted hat faculty for 5 hours a day for 12 days, total 60 hours allotted to complete that subject. it's completely theoretical and if there is one thing i hate about school, that is memorising. so it's been a tough journey for me. ngl he is a great teacher, he literally connects everything. every dot. there is a connection. i really like the way he teaches. but it's just not my cup of coffee. so it's been hard but hey its ca. it is supposed to be hard. 

sucking it all up.

other than that, i'm feeling pretty tired and eepy but still fresh. i love this post sm omggg ahhhhh its really good!!!

ok byeeee i love you sooo much!!

goood morning, afternoon and night. 

rini.