the flowers in my garden

By Rini -
  I water my flower everyday
Every night and every minute
 
What if it starts loving me?
For me, you're nothing but a mere being
 
But for you, I'm the god
Someone that provides for you
 
If you love me that much
What would you do if I
Forget to water you for a night?
Or for a week or a month?
 
Would you forgive me for my mistake?
Or was it even a mistake in the first place?
 
I was afraid I was gonna break your heart
So instead I killed you.
 
Better? For me, yes.
 
I stand in my garden
Now with no flowers
 
But I remember how you
Once bloomed over there
 
When you tried to bloom your
Best to catch my attention
When you tried to grow over
Me to have me with you
 
For me, you were just a flower,
A mere flower
Among hundred others
Nothing less, maybe something more
 
I killed the flower
It was a mistake
I say to myself
As I bring home new seeds to plant
 
A never-ending cycle with
Same garden
Same water
Same me
Same everything
But different flowers
All destined to die in my hands
 
Just like my will to save one.
 

 
EXPLANATION
Flowers are all the people that had a crush on me (and yes I was lying when I said there were hundreds, poets lie).
 
When a person likes me and I don't reciprocate the same, then they feel bad.
But I like them only as a friend, maybe a bit more but that's not necessary.
 
So I cut the person off when the vibe is gone and awkwardness fills the room. I kill them (break their heart). But it doesn't affect me one bit.
I just find new people and the cycle goes on. 

~The End~


heyy! I wrote this long back, like in may 2022. that was when things started getting a little off in my social life, mostly because I went to Gujarat for may vacation. I'm an extrovert and I need to socialise to be sane (not that it helps). 

ok back to the point, im not saying there are tons of people crushing over me, I'm just saying that every person who admires me will be facing the same end. 

that is it for today
love,
Rini.


TDD: [ten day diary]
not fun, i had my exams and we started receiving our marks as well. i scored better this time, partly because the papers were easy this time. like the diffculty level decreased (?).
anyways, happy sankranti!! i had a fun sankranti this time, it was awesome.
bought clothes!! for my birthday ahhh

i had a very cliché day the other day. it was filled with clichés. like fr. i felt like i was in a slice of life- romance- drama comic. nearly six that i noticed, one after the other. wow, i loved it, i felt alive (as the main character).

anyways, im super busy these days (procrastinating) so ive been posting old stuff. i want to post new things but for that, i need to write them but for that new things should happen to me. life has been boring these days. ill let you know when things get better,
growing up is tuff :(

okie byee, meet you in next post!

love you,
me.

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