An Orange Cloud

  I sometimes imagine that if my future self would pop out of thin air and talk to me they'd say, "Live more, love more." Well, that's what I would say to my younger self. I may not be super old, but I sure existed for a bunch of years and lived a couple.   You know how life doesn't seem to "start" unless one day you way up with an existential crisis and realise you're a living being and not just some non player character in a stimulation. (That's a discussion for another day)   My point is that we all start one day. Some start early (pity you), and some start late. Some probably don't even start. And all of them have one thing in common. They all want to leave a mark on this planet or somewhere saying, "I was here."   And how do you do it? You live.   So the bit of advice I, as a living human, would give to all the existing beings is to live more and love a lot more.     So what would YOU say to your young...

    I hope you don’t fall in love With another person,   ... Until you stop mourning About that one person.   A masked face on the outside Still loving that one girl deep inside I don’t think the present will love it If you keep living in the past.   Maybe just maybe Have you given a thought, Of how she might’ve forgotten you The day you guys bid goodbye, The day you were sure Would be the last day Her eyes would meet yours?   Maybe just maybe, Have you given a thought Of how the people you now spend time with Are a part of your life, While you still mourn the void That can be filled by only her?   Maybe just maybe Did you happen to think If you deserve more than A forgotten love?   Maybe just maybe You deserve love That’s looking at you Right now While you still search for hers.   Maybe just maybe You’re still blind And the love you thought eternal Has lost its spark Yet you still look for it.   Maybe just maybe You could stop living in...

  I just spent the last hour learning about Sisyphus, a myth, and  Albert Camus , a famous French philosopher. Camus said, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” So what is all this, who is Sisyphus, why must we imagine him happy, why did Camus say that? (And what am I yapping)   Trail Of Thoughts - 33 Sisyphus is a Greek mythology story. The shorter version is that he was an extremely overconfident and arrogant king, basically hubristic. He cheated on death twice and the Gods got mad at him and gave him a punishment. The punishment was for him to push a boulder, a giant rock, to the top of a steep hill and just when he would reach the top, the Gods would make the boulder slide down making Sisyphus start all over again. This was to last an eternity. For AN ETERNITY, this guy should push a giant rock up a hill just for it to fall again and again and again.   So why did Albert Camus say that one must imagine Sisyphus happy? Why must one imagine a never-ending pun...

4-3-24   Trail Of Thoughts- 29 I always joke that when my friend dies, I will “borrow” her diary and read it. Like, binge-read it. It is so very weird and so intimate. But I really want to know what goes on in her   Universe.   Does she have the same stars As Me?   Does she also have a Curious astronaut Exploring the vast dark space with so much Pink glitter dust?   Does she also have planets in her solar system with her favourite homes in each of them?   Does she also associate new people she meets to old people she met?   Does she think of little perfect things in every corner of this large floating sphere?   Does she also love watching Disney movies, Maybe re-watching them?   Does she often think of Escaping the reality And meet up with her Curious exploring astronaut In a cute pink (baby pink) space suit?   Does she wonder about all the undiscovered planets , Waiting to be...

3-3-24 I should be studying now.   Trail of thoughts- 28   When I first bought a size 32 jeans, I was surprised. I was scared too. Why do I need a bigger pant? So I’m not just fat, I’m getting fatter now?   I hated the feeling. It lasted a while. When I wore them for the first time, the stormy tornado in my chest calmed down and a summer breeze hit my heart. It felt like a long drive down the bridge with the beautiful clear river on either side.   As I was processing it, my mind so confused, a smile was born on my face. My hands in the air, my hair in the breeze, the cycle floating down the bridge, it felt like a revolution.   The land I was leaving was so dark and thorny; it was full of fluffy colours but very so aching. I was almost always breathless and fearful of what might happen. The unpredictability ate up my mind and my mouth toothless.   The land I was so happily leaving, The land I no longer belong to, The land I no lon...