scared for us

By Rini -
  There’s a lot going in my head
I’m scared of what’s ahead
 
People are scary
They have eyes and
Ears on the
Back of their heads
 
I would never be scared
If I never loved you
But I did and now
I feel like it was a mistake
 
I’m scared for us
Falling apart
And never being
Who we’re before
 
I look in the mirror
And see a fraud
Who never got her shit together
Because she is at fault
 
I’m scared of my future
But I wanna fight alone
I don’t need another
Because too many cooks spoil the stew
 
People are scary
With their eyes and
Ears at the
Back of their heads
 
I think I’m gonna
Live the high school drama
Hope it don’t
Leave a trauma
 
I’m scared of us
Not sure of what we would become
 
I'm scared of us
Scared that the eyes around
Would deceive us
Leave us wounded
 
I’m scared that maybe
The people who I loved
Would turn their back on us
And leave us deserted
 
Everything seems scarier
I’m scared of the eyes
I’m scared of the ears
That follow me,
Keep following me
 
Hope everything turns out well
Maybe one day in the future
I’d be looking at these lines
And laugh it off with a tear in my eye
 
But at the end of the day,
I feel one emotion
No, it’s not love.
I’m scared.

~The End~


heyy!! 

cheers to my 60th post!!!

I wrote this poem back in October 2022, and I seriously think I was being super dramatic (all poets are). Well I do remember the issue I was talking about here and all I can say is that its over now and shi I was being over-dramatic.

reading this again after 4 months, it feels quite nerve-wrecking for some reason. 
also the last second para is true lmao

Anywayyysss, there is not much for today and don't expect anything for next 3 posts because I'm having exams!!

I WILL be  posting but they will be old stuff (like this one) and not any fresh meat you see. 
ill still try my best to write something new (because i will certainly run out of the old meat :') ) !!

hoping the best of best march for youuuuu (its march already)

i love you,
Rini.


TDD- ten day diary
Hiiiii! I gave my first exam and it was English! it went super cool. boards will be in my old school which is super nostalgic!!
I was too excited to sleep the day before my English exam and the next day, I missed my alarm :') I woke up at 8:26am (planned to wake up an hour ago) but I set out earlier than planned so that was a win!

Then I wasted the whole Friday after returning because I didn't have anything planned for that day. The next day when I started studying, exactly an hour later, my friend visited me. So I just lost another 8 hours (though she was with me for only 5)

After that I did as much as I could the decided to give in and went to sleep. The next day, again, I couldn't get much done because the next lesson I planned to do was an easy one so it didn't require much effort. Also because it was Sunday. Before I knew it, it was late at night and I hadn't started yet. I skimmed through the pages and manipulated myself into thinking I already know all of it. The next day, Monday, I wanted to do another subject but when I started looking for the book realized I lent it to a friend. When I asked her when she can give it back, she said she will return it that evening. Nothing to do the whole day, I started doing the lesson I skimmed over the day before. I completed it. Then it was evening, got my book back. Its currently 22:43 (5 hours after I got the book back) and I still haven't started anything. 
 
Basically, I had an awesome week guys. 👍

Ok byeeee!! 

love,
me.

Comments

  1. Gopi Krishna1 March 2023 at 11:22

    Because too many cooks spoil the stew. 💥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An Orange Cloud1 March 2023 at 11:33

      hehe <33 they say more the merrier but its not christmas season 🥱🥴

      Delete

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