so bad

 this is a poem i wrote while talking with a friend, as one does, and this is my interpretation on their experience of wanting something so bad that they romanticised it being bad.

sit back and read a tragedy unfold. only a tragedy if you suffer from sever fomo. for others, its a normal tuesday. 

I wanted it so bad,

I’ve romanticised all its bad.

 

I dreamt of our first big fight

Considered sulking for a while.

I day dreamt our differences in values,

About politics and shows to watch.

 

All the minor disagreements,

Coffee or tea on a Sunday morning.

An early bird and a night owl, stay up all night;

Wake up at 11 to see you already working.

 

The veggie wars, no peace till no peas;

You’d hide my dislikes in the curry.

But I’m a black belt in picky eating baby,

I can find the greens in a blended gravy,

 

Explorer and a familiarity seeker;

New lakes, new parks and bird watcher

Meets old shows and sitcoms re-watcher.

Toss the coin for the ‘perfect’ activity on the weekend.

 

Type A, Type B, I type BORING

For all the hiking and trekking.

Why sweat in poisonous ivy,

When Nat-geo is on TV?

 

New people, new clicks, new dance moves,

Can’t climb the mountain to avoid people.

Build connection and human relations,

Have a bunch of people to lean on.

 

Isn’t that how life’s supposed to be,

Love someone ‘despite’ everything?

Despite the red flags, scary screams,

Despite the differences in life dreams.

 

I could imagine the differences in upbringing,

You’d come from a healthy family, and I, well..

Like opposites we attracted

And opposite we drift away.

 

Even in my dream of nightmares,

I imagined we moved our separate ways.

But that didn’t stop me from dreaming the vain,

For I wanted it so bad, I’ve come to terms with it.

(formed a liking for it)

 

As sad and depressing as it may sound,

The bad side was what I dreamt of all along.

Because the absence of it

Was the most painful of all.

 

 

I’d rather fight with you than spend the rest of my life dreaming about the idea of you.

 

Yours sincerely,

Familiarity seeker.

~The End~

I LOVE IT!!

:)))

 

i hope you guys like it too and share your thoughts in the comments below. 

i wish for no one to relate to this but it would be nice if you related because then, my friend wouldn't be alone. 

on a completely unrelated note,

it has been five YEARS since i have started this blog and its been such a prideful thing for me. it is true the consistency that i flexed and executed lasted only 4 years but we are back baby. we will now be posting twice a month instead of thrice. 

this has reduced my stress by a tremendous degree. i have written 3 poems in a span of 2 nights so yes im feeling good. im set for another month and more.

i know that for every anniversary, i dedicate the entire post to it, but this time, i didnt want to do it. 

im a little ashamed to not have followed my principle of posting quality content consistently. that guilt wouldnt let me enjoy this acheivement. my mind doesnt even register this as one. 

its a sad place, the mind. expects so much, when it does happen- all gold is glitter?

i wish we didnt have to hold ourselves to extremely high standards to feel any kind of pride.

like every anniversary post, ill be thanking my brother for this amazing idea to start a blog to scream into the void of internet. 

i wanted to get a little cake/pasty for myself for this anniversary but i had this nasty cough that just wouldnt go away, so long await, my tasty cheesecake, some other day you find your home in my mouth. ew, howd i make eating cheesecase creepy.

anywaaayyysss,

i really love this poem, it highlights the concept of romanticising the bad and not understanding the gravity of the imaginery situation. 

well, to each their own. 

i hope you enjoyed this piece. 

live and let live.

yours lovingly,

Rini.

yourorangecloud

 

FDD- fifteen day diary

i had the worst cough in a while, wouldn't let me sleep through the night in peace. i've specialised in vomiting only the phlegm and not the food i ate 30 min ago. 

watched the show "the boys" and i absolutely loved it, i have a post about it, coming soon.

spent a couple of days on the bed, unable to move a muscle. 

got asked why i always get sick by my sir and i thought "istggg i ask the same damn question to the mirror"

uhhhhh, made this little thing because my clock broke then fixed it.

i drew the background

removed the seconds hand and it worked miraculously, almost makes me wonder if the little things we do, dont matter in the big run at all

haha

such a funny thought

i want buy arcylics but their expensive and im not passionate enough to buy them yet. one day (when i get my stipend), i may buy them.

and guys, gratitude is reallyyy important. 

also i started parks and rec- about time i did. yeahhhh

have a great julyyyy, the second half of the year has started. omfg, now people will start posting "successfully wasted 6months" ugh, internet is so predictable.

also, have you noticed how instagram has become so exhausting and insufferable? its insane, it used to be so nice.

that was nice. like a long email to all my readers who rarely respond. i feel like the guy who wrote 365 letters and the girl says "what letter?"

not complaining.

i love you,

byeeee!!!! <333