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parasite

By Rini -
  I think I’m a parasite I’d be good at everything you want me to be   If I try my level best I’d be able to accomplish   But what do I really want to be doing? What do I want to be, truly speaking?   If I try, I can do it But do I really wanna do it What if I don’t like it After I complete it? What if my life in this Would be favourless ? What if I try my best Just for it to be hated By me in the future? And the future’s so near.   If I try, I’ll be who you want me to be But what if it’s not what I want   What if I don’t need a stable bridge What if I’m truly adventurous What if I want to have fun?   Sitting behind a desk Typing jumbled letters With more jumbled ones What if this is what I want?   Behind the screen With slow music feels With an half eaten chocolate And friends few texts away With pens all around the table And half eaten snacks beside ‘em And opened te...
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missing

By Rini -
   Missing things in the way I wanna go back and relive them T rail Of Thoughts- 39 Sto-Rini-27   The other day in work, (during break time- if anyone from my work is reading) my senior was playing video games. And I, who can’t keep her eyes to herself, was watching the game play. He was playing India free fire-something, not sure. That reminded me of the time when I used to play pubg with my brother back in 2020. I told my senior the story where when my brother and i were on a jeep in the game, I accidentally threw the gr4nede on us and killed us both in that round. (Idk why my brother was reluctant playing with me after that, smh)    Anyways, that story caught his attention and I asked him if he plays gta-vice city. That game has been in my home computer for as long as I can remember. I think I remember installing it but I’m not sure, memory’s fuzzy. I was getting excited and was about to ask him about a mission in the game and he goes, “I know what you’re tal...
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one must imagine Sisyphus happy

By Rini -
  I just spent the last hour learning about Sisyphus, a myth, and  Albert Camus , a famous French philosopher. Camus said, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” So what is all this, who is Sisyphus, why must we imagine him happy, why did Camus say that? (And what am I yapping)   Trail Of Thoughts - 33 Sisyphus is a Greek mythology story. The shorter version is that he was an extremely overconfident and arrogant king, basically hubristic. He cheated on death twice and the Gods got mad at him and gave him a punishment. The punishment was for him to push a boulder, a giant rock, to the top of a steep hill and just when he would reach the top, the Gods would make the boulder slide down making Sisyphus start all over again. This was to last an eternity. For AN ETERNITY, this guy should push a giant rock up a hill just for it to fall again and again and again.   So why did Albert Camus say that one must imagine Sisyphus happy? Why must one imagine a never-ending pun...
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listener

By Rini -
   I'm naturally a speaker Someone who speaks a lot That they deserve a podcast And yearns to have a YouTube channel With just them spe aking All day, all night long   An extrovert With love for their voice A terrible singer With an awesome music taste A funny person With humour so dark And finally a loud one With too many jokes on board   The catch? It’s you   But with you, I want to be a listener I want to listen to you speak   You don’t talk a lot But when you do I just want to stare at you With love in my eyes   I may not be the best listener in the world I’m not used to keeping my mouth shut for long But for you, I’ll try to be even good And always trying to be better   I could easily spend hours Just with you And talking with you And listening to you   I want you to be talkative with me And only me And I’ll be your listener And yours only ~The End~ i have a hard time listening to people. sometimes i'm afraid i might be turning into an i...
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the flowers in my garden

By Rini -
    I water my flower everyday Every night and every minute   What if it starts loving me? For me, you're nothing but a mere being   But for you, I'm the god Someone that provides for you   If you love me that much What would you do if I Forget to water you for a night? Or for a week or a month?   Would you forgive me for my mistake? Or was it even a mistake in the first place?   I was afraid I was gonna break your heart So instead I killed you.   Better? For me, yes.   I stand in my garden Now with no flowers   But I remember how you Once bloomed over there   When you tried to bloom your Best to catch my attention When you tried to grow over Me to have me with you   For me, you were just a flower, A mere flower Among hundred others Nothing less, maybe something more   I killed the flower It was a mistake I say to myself As I bring home new seeds to plant   A never-ending cycle with Same garden Same water Same me Same...
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