we didn't, but i did

April fools! I mean if you read the last post till the end, I said I will be discontinuing but here I am. That was a prank (if anyone cared).

Back to the post :-

 

Hey!

I wrote this 2 months back but the emotion still remains raw and fresh. Have a good read; you might need a tissue because I did.

 

Sto-rini - 12

 

The end of the academic year has become quite clear now. It has become a close reality unlike far. We could all sense it.

And with the end, there comes new beginnings? No, with the end comes many celebrations and exams; goodbyes and tears; confessions and regrets.

I experienced two of them.

 

First the celebrations, the farewell our juniors presented to us was, in one word, 'MARVELOUS'. It is probably THE best one in the world (a bit far-fetched but let me have it ffs). They did it so well; I can still hear the cheers and sing-along. I danced, which is so unlikely to happen. I am super happy to be their seniors <3 and even happier to have them as my juniors.

 

And then we had exams of course, but I want to focus on the farewell more.

 

The evening I got home after our much anticipated and fun packed farewell, all my friends had one teensy tinsy doubt. “Why didn’t we cry?”.

Absurd? No not at all. Everyone cries on their farewell. We didn’t, none of us did. Mostly because traditionally farewell means the last day of going to school. But our school called us all two days later (tmi, my birthday) for a group photo and hall tickets. Wellllll, they could’ve planned that better.

 

Anyways, the last day was still not filled with tears. We were more focused on our tees to get filled with ink. I got a white shirt and pink sketches only. That was my colour code: pink on white. I love pink.

To have your tee filled is equal to have your heart filled. Filled tee equals filled heart. Basically.

 

I asked everyone to write on mine. And they all did (with a gun pointed at them haha).

 

Everything went well.

Until it didn’t.

 

I got home and switched on my computer and obediently sat down with my shirt in front of the web cam. I wanted to film a video of me talking about the writings. I spoke for 5 minutes and that’s it. I couldn’t any more. I started crying. I kept crying and crying and crying and crying. I bawled my eyes out for 35 MINUTES. That is when it suddenly hit me. It’s the end. The end is here. Everything is ending. We are moving on to an unpredictable future. A future so uncertain. A future so bleak. A future without you.

 

Everything hit me at once. Every bond I made, every person I befriended, every moment I spent, every memory I made, every second with them, all of them. All of them. Is coming to an end.

 

The feeling of “I will probably never see them all again” clouded my head. I was so emotional.

 

I cried for 35 minutes. And the camera was on the whole time. I may not have those experiences back but I do have the memory of losing them with me, recorded.

 

 

 

My mind couldn’t digest this horror and wanted to reason with me right away. Why am I crying? Especially over an 18 month bond?  I didn’t cry when my 10 year old bond came to an end in my old school. What is so special about this one?

 

Then it hit me. It’s not just the people and the bond we made but the way it was made.

Let me explain.

 

When I started this school 18 months back, I had one strategy to make friends. “Be myself”. And I was being myself alright.

Every person I befriended loved me for the way I was. Not a fake mask I would normally put on. They liked me and stayed for who I am.

And those 35 minutes have probably been the healthiest way for me to express my emotions. Crying truly makes you feel better, in a way.

 

In conclusion, I truly loved my 18 months of time here. I loved spending time with you. I love you guys so so much, especially the drama. Drama is eminent. And I loved that about you.

I hope we meet again in 10 years of time, names forgotten, memories fazed, lives changed.

And until then, sayonara bitches. <3

 

~The End~

 

 

 

TDD- ten day diary

Last ten days have been ok-ok. I completed my exams (finally). And got a week to rejuvenate and now back to hellhole I go 😂👍👌

Also its sooo hot!!

Oh and Jisoo’s solo ahhh, the song is sooo good!! I liked flower but all eyes on me didn’t strike a chord.

The choreo for flower feels a bit basic tbh.

Also I’m participating in this month challenge where prompts were given for April and we post one a day. So 30 prompts for 30 write-ups as 30 posts. I am very proud to say, I am posting daily for the first time in many moons. (Actually the first time since I started). It is called #escapril2023 and it is so awesome.

Unfortunate to say I’m not writing poetry but writing stuff. So ya.

 

Have a great April ahead y’all.

I love you,

Me.