An Orange Cloud

 August 2 nd   You’re never too old to memorize, you can never escape memorisation . Be it phone numbers, otp’s, to do tasks etc. the only thing about it is that, it’s hard.   Trail Of Thoughts- 21 Sto-rini- 17 When I was younger, I was that one student who scored well in a language exam foreign to her. Hindi. Ever since I selected Hindi as my new second language after preschool of it being Telugu, I aced all my exams. Did I perform better than my fellow Hindi students? Yes. Did I get the highest despite being a Telugu speaker? Yes. Did I understand it? No. I can comprehend Hindi, meaning I can decode it pretty well, but encoding, it’s not my cup of tea. My Hindi is book-smart type. My vocabulary is nowhere to be used now. More like, nowhen to be used. Whenever I spoke in Hindi with my friends, I would use the textbook-old version of the word. It’s quite funny. For example, instead of saying, “Yoo dude, that class was fire!” I used to say, “Oh comrade of mine...

 no its not about tiktok. I feel like I’m living every second. Tick tock tick tock tick tock I used to live in minutes and now it feels right when I say "I've been waiting for 30 seconds!!" It’s like I can feel the time pass by and not run by.   I can hear the leaves rustling In the breeze I can see the ants Walking in a band   I can count The number of times The curtain hit the window   I can count the hair on the sheep While I count the sheep   I can see the pores on your skin While you walk past me   I can see your eyes move While you are in deep sleep   I can see your brain churning While you're on a whim   I can hear the fan In slow-motion   It’s almost uncanny How everything goes so slow Yet I always run out of time When I’m with you.   I can feel myself blinking Breathing Swallowing Moving Sweating Tapping Burning calories   The seconds I se...

  Our shadows on the wall When we were 7 of age We were so innocent and small But we didn't care   We danced We smiled We hadn’t a care in the world All we did was build "us" a future   Every other story we read Scared us to death When the people were separated But we tried our best to stay with each other.   Soon time proved us right We were meant to be We danced all night Just our presence made the world happy   We thanked the world On the day we have our vows It thanked us back by gifting Us a daughter so pretty   Soon she grew up With a pretty girlfriend We knew what she was up to But never said a word until she did   After years of togetherness Never feeling bored of one another   Like the shadows on the wall When we were so innocent and small Our daughter grew up loving love And spreading it with a dove   The shadows on the wall Were never wrong The walls wi...

  20th February   This is gonna be a leave letter Because I'm leaving your heart And I'm never coming back So imma leave this at the door   I started with a blue ink Ended with a black Like my heart with a red Ended dark   Started with the address Then hesitant at the name Cuz I don’t know who you are anymore   Door number Apartment name I know where you live But I don’t know if I can see you there   Because You seem to be changing Changing lives   You seem to be changing Changing smiles   Half the time I don’t know if it’s the same old you I fell in love with   Anyways, I wrote down the address From the piece of paper you passed to me In the class during a test You were ready to face the worst   Passing notes in secrecy To passing time dreaming your exit   Now it’s time for the subject The core of the letter   I write “leaving for the best” ...

A dream come true, When you said I love you too   It was a dream come true, When you wanted me too   Clouds in the air Skies so pink and blue Cheeks crimson red You got me blushing till the end   I remember loving you Since the day I first met you. Alas the day before we met, My eyes loved what they saw   Too young to name the feeling, Too young to be scared, Too young to think anything, Too young to love.   So all of this is a dream come true, Walking down the aisle, so beautiful, Was I day dreaming? Or was it you, looking like a daydream?   Words coming out of my mouth, I wrote the script 10 years back, All the things I wanted to tell you, Once you become mine and I yours.   All the things I held back, I can now say them looking into your eyes, Oh, your beautiful caramel eyes.   Your love now Is all I wanted before, All I dreamt of, All I could think of.   You l...

I feel sick Again.   The weather changed Again.   I got tired of life Again.   I cant sleep Again.   I cant focus Again.   I cant walk   I cant breathe   I cant talk   I cant stop                                                                           zoning out Again.   I cant not forget   I cant not not remember   I cant not be sad   I think and feel and its                 All very tedious       I think again   I forg...

  1-2-22 Cute, smart and pretty That’s how people describe me It just makes me sad how people Don’t compliment my personality   It’s depressing. Maybe there isn’t anything To compliment about me, Other than my beauty.   I honestly don’t think I’m beautiful I’m a shallow person with depression I am not emotionally stable And definitely not mentally   Hoped things would change By the coming days.     My first day at my new school Turned out to bring my worst Insecurities out to the front When I met you.   I met you And I could feel The jealousy in me brew And I hated you.   You were so cheerful and friendly You made me smile so quickly With your charming personality I liked you more than me   I forgot my worries When I was with you.   I never really hated you I hated you because I couldn’t be you I just couldn’t admit that I hated me So I blamed you for everyth...