leave letter

By Rini -

 

20th February

 

This is gonna be a leave letter

Because I'm leaving your heart

And I'm never coming back

So imma leave this at the door

 

I started with a blue ink

Ended with a black

Like my heart with a red

Ended dark

 

Started with the address

Then hesitant at the name

Cuz I don’t know who you are anymore

 

Door number

Apartment name

I know where you live

But I don’t know if I can see you there

 

Because

You seem to be changing

Changing lives

 

You seem to be changing

Changing smiles

 

Half the time

I don’t know if it’s the same old you

I fell in love with

 

Anyways, I wrote down the address

From the piece of paper you passed to me

In the class during a test

You were ready to face the worst

 

Passing notes in secrecy

To passing time dreaming your exit

 

Now it’s time for the subject

The core of the letter

 

I write “leaving for the best”

But then erased it well

 

Leave letter

Leave of absence

Leave your heart

Leave till my last breath

 

I write

I erase

Dust

All over my place

 

Finally picked one

And moving on

 

Now how do I address you?

Sir? Man? Boy?

Or ‘the dude that broke my heart into a million pieces’?

Hard decision.

 

Introduced myself

Since you’ve probably forgot

Stating my name

“Rini with 2 I’s”

You probably forgot that too

 

I’m writing this letter

To let you know that

From today on

I will-

 

Can’t get those works right

How do I stab you with my words right?

Like you stabbed me with your acts boy

How do I hurt you, boy?

 

I'm writing this leave letter

With the paper and pen

I bought to write you

Love letters

 

I guess these were useful after all

Well

I mean

I'm using them for you.

 

All the glitters

A whole lot of pink and red

With hearts in all shades

Soaking in my b;ood.

 

I’m drowning

I’m dying

I’m so full of love

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts so bad

 

All this love

All this time

All for this boy.

 

 

Packing up the letter

In a cute little pink envelope

Doing a little

Wax seal with a rose in the middle

Sticking the stamp

Writing the address one last time

“Number 163

Xyz graveyard”

 

~The End~


how is it??????

the last bit was a twist, right?? for me as well! (when i completed it, i was in awe.)

many questions were raised in my mind. i was asking myself questions, like

what- what the actual fudge

why- why is the guy dead??

how- how did it get so dark suddenly

where- where did it go wrong

when- since when are we k1lling off people in our poems???

how- how come he is dead??

what- so what does all that frustration mean?

why- why is the person so angry at him?


so after allllll this and more, one thought occurred to me. "don't change the ending". so how the turns have tabled, i needed to interpret the poem after writing it rather than writing after i think of an ending.


finally there came the perfect ending, i mean the perfect interpretation. 

the interpretation is:

the boy dies a sudden death and the girl is unable to process that. her only coping mechanism is to start hating him to forget him. but even that, she does it in a melancholic and delusional way. melancholic because she keeps remembering the past events and connects them to the now tragedy. delusional because she keeps remembering the events wrongly. like the time she says "you probably forgot my name", she remembers it wrong. he never called her by her name, not because he forgot it, but because he would give her nicknames and she loved them more. just like this, all lovely moments are turned into hatred and negative. and finally she recollects all the things she wanted to do for him but cant anymore (like the handwritten letters) and finally accepts that he is dead by writing the graveyard number on the envelope. the last letter she has ever written and the last one he has ever received.  

and that's how she writes the worst kind of leave letter she never thought she would have to write.

she left a piece of herself in the leave letter she left for him

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