sick again

By Rini -

I feel sick

Again.

 

The weather changed

Again.

 

I got tired of life

Again.

 

I cant sleep

Again.

 

I cant focus

Again.

 

I cant walk

 

I cant breathe

 

I cant talk

 

I cant stop                                                                          zoning out

Again.

 

I cant not forget

 

I cant not not remember

 

I cant not be sad

 

I think and feel and its

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All very tedious

 

 

 

I think again

 

I forget

 

 

I felt.

 

 

 

I cant do

 

 

I want to though

 

I feel the numbness

But not the touch of your warmth

 

 

Was

 

It

 

even

 

There

 

In

 

The

 

First

 

Place?

 

 

 

I feel sick

 

I cant taste

 

I can feel my tongue

 

Its wet

It has some sort of taste

Bitter? Salt?    Bbbb9edx      sorry I got distracted

 

My keyboard is having this problem

Well, it “was” until I took out the space bar out and its working well.

 

Anyways

As I was saying

 

My tongue tastes weird

I don’t really taste anything

 

What do we need to taste? Yes tongue

I need it to taste,

 

 

 

 

 

To taste ,

 

 

My tongue?

 

 

Its getting weird

Real weird

 

 

 

I feel sick

In my stomach, more specifically

 

I don’t really feel anything

Sickness, that I do

 

I am sick

 

My mom says its natural

Its because the weather changed

 

I mean the climate

Wait the season.

 

Seasons change

Sickness prevails

Feelings changed

Love remains

 

 

~The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



this poem got that 'sadness' vibes from 'inside out' , you know? 

SO, what do you think of this one??? 
I LOVE IT!!!! IT'S JUST SO ME, yk??

this poem is a visual representation of my mind, how it 'works' on the most non-functional and unproductive days. it feels so bad and numb and just nothing but all those feelings to the fullest. i feel nothing completely. mentally AND physically. i just feel the burnt-out. just so burned, to crisp, inside and out. i feel my health deteriorating and i'm just watching from the sidewalk. i see myself fail, i see myself fall, i scared if i never see myself get up again. i don't wanna wake up in the morning for college, alas, i don't wanna wake up at all. i want to embrace the numbness and maybe try to do something with it? like they say, when life gives you lemons, you squeeze the juice in your eyes, nose, ears and wheeze to dea- wait sorry  that's from a different proverb. so anyways, i'm tryna make the lemonade with my lemons, mine because i was given them. 

so ya, maybe in the future you will see a swift of perspective in my poems (hopefully). 

this poem was dear to me in all possible ways. it's because i love writing my thoughts since there are so many of them also hate writing my thoughts since there are SO MANY, get it?

Let me know in the comments down below, YOUR thoughts, opinions, interpretations of my poem!!


I love you, byeee
Rini.

Comments

Post a Comment

my popular posts!!

new girl

By Rini -
  Sto-rini- 14 It was back in 2019; I was studying 9th. The academic year had just begun and we were all breathing the air of relief because of the 8th class storm. We had public exams in 8th, our first exposure to outside correction and the new type of stress due to pressure.   9th class was our step to freedom after the battle. As storm passed, calmness spread. Little did I know, it was the sign for yet another storm that was to come, but this time it was coming for me.   "A new student has joined in 9th A", announced my class teacher, we got excited. I still remember that day, crystal clear. She waddled in, shy and sat behind me. On her first day, we swarmed around her introducing ourselves. I remember my first words to her, "Nice to meet you. My name is Rini".   We shook hands. It wasn't firm, she was rather weak. She was slim. Not too thin, not too fat. Just the right type. She had a fair complexion, clear skin, thick hair, smooth hands, beautif...
Read more!

her and him

By Rini -
He is always saying that they have nothing in common but she, a sitcom addict, says that’s where magic happens.   Trail of thoughts- 23 When people are different, there is space between their hearts. One can say that their love for each other and them as a whole is common enough. But she says that the bridge that connects their soul is built by them with their own minds and hands. “If we have nothing in common, so be it. We can do or create hobbies that both of us can enjoy doing together”.   Maybe just love is enough, but are you sure?   He loves watching movies and series. He loves re-watching his favourites. She passes her time watching 20 minute recap of famous movies. She thinks movies today are lengthy without a story.   So, he made it his life’s mission to narrate her movies he watched, re-watched and loved so far. That works for both of them.   She loves writing. She writes poetry and sometimes stories. When she asks him to read th...
Read more!

rubber hands

By Rini -
  My eyes feel heavy, I can’t feel my body. I feel like I’m dying. I woke up not knowing how I even fell asleep. Was it even sleep I have woken up from? But first, why does my whole body ache like crazy? I can’t even open my fucking eyes. With all my might, I open them slightly. First thing I see is red coloured sand. Just sand everywhere, red precisely. Red mountains, red sky, red sandstorms, red ground, and red …… liquid? Is that blood? Am I bleeding?? I feel a metallic taste in my mouth. It is blood. I try lifting my hands and they’re painted bright red. I have been hurt badly. Don’t know how, don’t know when, and don’t know why.   Wait, why don’t I remember why or how? I don’t remember anything. Why is that? I go deep into my thoughts and suddenly a memory snaps. A car accident. There was a car accident. Trying to remember more things despite the severe headache and huge blood loss, I remember one more thing. I was with my boyfriend, Siddharth, in the very car that was in ...
Read more!

what's the worst thing that could happen?

By Rini -
  When people say “what’s the worst thing that can happen” before doing the most diabolical stunt in their life, my mind just wanders in the grey area of life. Trail Of Thoughts - 34 Let me explain. When I started this blog, my first thought was “Omg lezgoo ahhh” and second was, “what’s the worst possibility”. The answer to that question was “no one would read it lol”. That initially gave me a boost to posting anything I want and I still equip that in the back of my mind before I click on ‘publish’.  Today, I realized I wasn’t thinking of the worst possible consequence, but rather “a” consequence that could be both a win and a loss for me. I don’t think my mind wrapped around that saying properly. Now that I am older and wiser, I think the worst thing that could happen when blogging is the following: This might end up on some wrong person’s feed somehow; they read it and interpret it in the wrong way. And not stop there. He (suppose) not only hates it but makes it his whole pu...
Read more!

one must imagine Sisyphus happy

By Rini -
  I just spent the last hour learning about Sisyphus, a myth, and  Albert Camus , a famous French philosopher. Camus said, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” So what is all this, who is Sisyphus, why must we imagine him happy, why did Camus say that? (And what am I yapping)   Trail Of Thoughts - 33 Sisyphus is a Greek mythology story. The shorter version is that he was an extremely overconfident and arrogant king, basically hubristic. He cheated on death twice and the Gods got mad at him and gave him a punishment. The punishment was for him to push a boulder, a giant rock, to the top of a steep hill and just when he would reach the top, the Gods would make the boulder slide down making Sisyphus start all over again. This was to last an eternity. For AN ETERNITY, this guy should push a giant rock up a hill just for it to fall again and again and again.   So why did Albert Camus say that one must imagine Sisyphus happy? Why must one imagine a never-ending pun...
Read more!