oh captain, my captain!

By Rini -

 

Oh captain, my captain,

I see you everywhere

 




But I need to erase the pain,

Numb it with the discomfort of freedom.

 

I need to dampen the spirits

Steal joy like shushed laughs,

Blank responses,

Unprofessional show of teeth,

Over explaining thoughts,

Under-understanding of actions,

Misinterpretation of expressions,

Fumbling of well curated words,

Mis-articulation of rehearsed thoughts,

Choking up at the time of alarm,

Freezing at the sight of fear

Overtaken by fear of uncertain fear of failure.

 

 

I shut down the routes to road less taken,

I shut off the demons singing poetry in my nerves,

I scream at the nostalgia eating me alive,

I laugh at the state of my mind I have chosen for myself.

 

 

Oh captain, my captain,

What am I without my random scribbles of rhyming lines?

What am I without my loud laughs at the whimsy of life?

What am I without the curiosity for magic in my every day;

While I take the same road and see the same faces?

 

I see you everywhere,

In old faces I try to forget while I look at numbers 1/3rd of my day,

In songs I hear in auto while I commute to the life I don’t really hate,

In new laughs with new faces in my everyday old life,

In late night struggles rhyming the same word time by time.

 

Its 2 am and I was just so sleepy trying to study,

But with jumbled alphabets and a blank screen

Im not so sleepy even without my caffeine;

Maybe this is the freedom I wanted to achieve.

 

Oh captain, my captain.

I ought to watch the movie one more time,

Have the same heartbreak but for a different plot

A group of teens finding eachother with eachother

Bigger heartbreak than any other.

 

Oh captain, my captain.

May we all find the dream we are sleeping on

May we all score the goal we are determined about

May we all get what we deserve in our lives

May we all be able to sleep well at night.

 

 

Yours lovingly,

Rini.

Yourorangecloud.

 

You can now email me btw via yourorangecloud@gmail.com

 

Thank you for reading till the end.

 

Love you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TDD: Ten day diary

I started reading this book “the guilty” by David Baldacci, found it in office. It is really good; I’m unable to keep my hands off of it and I’m 80% into the 600 page book that I started like a week ago.

I’m looking forward to the ending, I can see the dots connecting and pretty sure it will be evident.

It’s a suspense-thriller.

 

It’s already the end of January. But it feels like it just began. I’m learning to use my phone less, so I can comprehend the passing of time and not think ‘time flies’. I’m trying to learn new habits, good ones and inculcate them in my routine. So far, I learnt that too many hobbies leave me tired and sleep deprived; so you can I’m still learning the second part- inculcating them into my daily routine.

To summarize my last post, don’t be overwhelmed by new goals, changed calendars; break your goals into short-term, realistic but also challenging at the same time. It is hard, but not impossible (this is how the characters in the book talk, lowk).

The book is pretty old-fashioned, the way women are written is so cliché but who am I to say * shrugs *.

Nonetheless, it’s a nice story and im really looking forward to it!!

 

I hope your January treated you well.

 

FEBRUARY is HERE!! I love February. Hehe its so hehe whimsy.

 

Ok bye, love you if you read till here <3

 

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