An Orange Cloud

  Heyyyy!!   The title may seem a bit absurd so let me explain. In 2021, when I first started this blog, I typed out a post talking about the year 2021 as a tribute to the year to post on December 30th 2021. And what did I title it? “Minus one year till the end of the world”. It was really funny, back then I was obsessed with apocalypse, existential crisis and world-ending stuff, I still am. So that felt super appropriate and it’s like letting people know that it’s been a year! And I did the same in 2022 as well, and thought to myself, ok so this is a tradition.   And two years later, we are here, minus 3 years till the end of the world! Trail Of Thoughts- 26 Sto-rini- 19   For all the newcomers, in this post I will be talking about a whole bunch of stuff. I will answer some questions I had for myself last year and see if any of the predictions came true. And at the end, we will be leaving some more questions and predictions for 2024 December Rini to laugh at!   So I pr

  Living in the borders.   Trail Of Thoughts- 25   In my old house, if you ask me where I lived, I could, without skipping a beat, could say a definite place. Like, yes I live in town x! That’s where I live. But ever since I moved to the new house, I literally cannot do so.   Let me explain. Initially, I thought I lived in town ‘A’. That’s what I’ve been telling people. “Near this landmark, I live in town ‘A’.”   But one day, when I placed an order, the app said that I was actually in town ‘B’. It’s been what, 3 months? All this time when I thought I lived in ‘A’, I have been living in ‘B’? I was shook. But that is not the end. It was town ‘C’ in another app.   It is so confusing. Not even 3 kilometers away, my college is in a different town. One km away on my left, it’s a different town. I km to my back, guess what? A whole another town!   It is like I am living in the borders of MANY areas. Like the North Korea-South Korea border everyone goes to. Only here

  Safe to say I just went over my last year’s post about this very topic and now I feel influenced. But I promise I’ll try my best to get you in my head.     Trail of thoughts- 24       This year was the best. I loved it so much. Many great things happened in this year. But we will not talk about that today.   Spotify released it’s much awaited wrapped and safe to say, I didn’t hate it. It’s so ironical though. Last time I thought I didn’t change at all and how change is the only constant. But at the end of the day, I was proved wrong.   Spotify wrapped told me that I was an adventured and that I explored many new genres. That I was a true explorer. “I was told I was an explorer when I felt like a hobbit.”- me last year. I legit thought I was being static but turns out I was more dynamic than ever.   But this year was different. Very different.   Let me cut to chase, spotify called me a “time traveler”, pretty cool, huh? Wait until you read what’s below th

He is always saying that they have nothing in common but she, a sitcom addict, says that’s where magic happens.   Trail of thoughts- 23 When people are different, there is space between their hearts. One can say that their love for each other and them as a whole is common enough. But she says that the bridge that connects their soul is built by them with their own minds and hands. “If we have nothing in common, so be it. We can do or create hobbies that both of us can enjoy doing together”.   Maybe just love is enough, but are you sure?   He loves watching movies and series. He loves re-watching his favourites. She passes her time watching 20 minute recap of famous movies. She thinks movies today are lengthy without a story.   So, he made it his life’s mission to narrate her movies he watched, re-watched and loved so far. That works for both of them.   She loves writing. She writes poetry and sometimes stories. When she asks him to read them, he reads them but do

  Every 5 days a month, I feel alive. I feel human. Very human. I feel. A lot.   Every 5 days a month, I am willing to sacrifice my future for the present pleasures.   Every 5 days a month I’m willing to go to the edge of death to accomplish something in the future.   Every 5 days a month, I wish to be anything other than being alive.   Every 5 days a month, I feel so so so happy to be alive.   Every 5 days a month, I wonder about the:-   Every 5 days a month, I feel alive. I feel human. Very human- and the cycle repeats.

  Oct 29 th , 2022     Sto-rini-  18 Today I went upstairs to dry some clothes but then I noticed that there was no space left for my clothes. Clothes everywhere, on the wire, in the bucket, on the racks. Some dried, some half dried, some wet like mine. I looked around but then just gave up and sat in one of those weird broken but still usable chairs. Then a drop fell on my hand. It started sprinkling almost immediately as if it warned me to seek shelter. I ran inside the shed next to the stairs to the terrace, almost scared that it was raining acid. It could be literally possible keeping in mind the pollution and other hot sh1t around the world. (Pun intended).   I always hated getting in the rain. The reason? It was the weird wetness and damp clothes adhered to my skin and the breeze that sends a shiver down my spine. It’s the fog on my glasses that leave me blinded for a second, it’s the time taken for my wet hair to dry off, and it’s the risk of becoming ill.   But, I

  I don’t want anyone waiting on me I would run to them if I have to Cuz I know how bad it hurts To wait for someone who won’t return   But hey I want you to wait for me I want you to cry for me I want you to be me for a day Be in my place just one day   Now tell me how it feels Does it hurt? Does it not? But we both know that it sucks To be the only one Who really cares In the first place   I just want to be home Home with you No more waiting Just together with you   Though it’s not possible I want to give it a try I don’t want to regret Not trying that night   Waiting for you and I To become us Well it’s not that simple   We can always stick them together Add a little sparkle And make our fantasy palace with no people   I’m waiting for us to be Not just some characters from a movie But “us” in the history To look back on our memories   Waiting for us to Look back in the pictures And laugh about how I

 alternative title: why i love the stars I love the stars Because they tell me How small we are   How disappearance Doesn’t affect us all   How I can just vanish And people would still love me   They tell me how loving we are By being bright so far I look at them and Find tranquility   The night dark sky Doesn’t cloud the sky’s light   It’s still bright as ever It teaches me to be high forever   It tells me to Aim for it And maybe one day I can reach it   We are so insignificant Little happy humans Small cute creatures Trying to find love   I’m sure the stars Look upon us And smile to themselves Because we are so lovely   “Oh humans! Oh so little creatures! Always fighting for love, always wandering for love, always searching for love, while it was there all along, in their very own souls! When they notice it, it’s when they are at peace. Love is everywhere and so is loving me~”   The shining cosmos And the h

November 26 th , 2022   How are we so different from machines? Machines are programmed to work and we are doing this ‘voluntarily’.   Trail Of Thoughts - 22 Today in economics class, there was a topic about biotic and abiotic components of the ecology. And the definition kind of surprised me. All living things are called biotic, but are all biotic things actually living? I remember when I was younger, the definition we had was more like “things that can breath, feel and grow” are biotic.   “Feel and grow”, I’m coming back to this.   In Telugu there are two words, jeevinchadam and brathakadam. They are both similar to the words in English, living and existing respectively.   People exist in this modern world but none of them are actually living in it. Living seems to be a dream and a wish for most of us. To be able to live our lives is a luxury while it should be a necessity.   There are a number of reasons for this to happen and the main reason that pops up in my he

 August 2 nd   You’re never too old to memorize, you can never escape memorisation . Be it phone numbers, otp’s, to do tasks etc. the only thing about it is that, it’s hard.   Trail Of Thoughts- 21 Sto-rini- 17 When I was younger, I was that one student who scored well in a language exam foreign to her. Hindi. Ever since I selected Hindi as my new second language after preschool of it being Telugu, I aced all my exams. Did I perform better than my fellow Hindi students? Yes. Did I get the highest despite being a Telugu speaker? Yes. Did I understand it? No. I can comprehend Hindi, meaning I can decode it pretty well, but encoding, it’s not my cup of tea. My Hindi is book-smart type. My vocabulary is nowhere to be used now. More like, nowhen to be used. Whenever I spoke in Hindi with my friends, I would use the textbook-old version of the word. It’s quite funny. For example, instead of saying, “Yoo dude, that class was fire!” I used to say, “Oh comrade of mine, the lecture

 no its not about tiktok. I feel like I’m living every second. Tick tock tick tock tick tock I used to live in minutes and now it feels right when I say "I've been waiting for 30 seconds!!" It’s like I can feel the time pass by and not run by.   I can hear the leaves rustling In the breeze I can see the ants Walking in a band   I can count The number of times The curtain hit the window   I can count the hair on the sheep While I count the sheep   I can see the pores on your skin While you walk past me   I can see your eyes move While you are in deep sleep   I can see your brain churning While you're on a whim   I can hear the fan In slow-motion   It’s almost uncanny How everything goes so slow Yet I always run out of time When I’m with you.   I can feel myself blinking Breathing Swallowing Moving Sweating Tapping Burning calories   The seconds I second Or the seconds I dissent Th

  Our shadows on the wall When we were 7 of age We were so innocent and small But we didn't care   We danced We smiled We hadn’t a care in the world All we did was build "us" a future   Every other story we read Scared us to death When the people were separated But we tried our best to stay with each other.   Soon time proved us right We were meant to be We danced all night Just our presence made the world happy   We thanked the world On the day we have our vows It thanked us back by gifting Us a daughter so pretty   Soon she grew up With a pretty girlfriend We knew what she was up to But never said a word until she did   After years of togetherness Never feeling bored of one another   Like the shadows on the wall When we were so innocent and small Our daughter grew up loving love And spreading it with a dove   The shadows on the wall Were never wrong The walls with ears Heard our prayers

  20th February   This is gonna be a leave letter Because I'm leaving your heart And I'm never coming back So imma leave this at the door   I started with a blue ink Ended with a black Like my heart with a red Ended dark   Started with the address Then hesitant at the name Cuz I don’t know who you are anymore   Door number Apartment name I know where you live But I don’t know if I can see you there   Because You seem to be changing Changing lives   You seem to be changing Changing smiles   Half the time I don’t know if it’s the same old you I fell in love with   Anyways, I wrote down the address From the piece of paper you passed to me In the class during a test You were ready to face the worst   Passing notes in secrecy To passing time dreaming your exit   Now it’s time for the subject The core of the letter   I write “leaving for the best” But then erased it well   Leave letter Leave

A dream come true, When you said I love you too   It was a dream come true, When you wanted me too   Clouds in the air Skies so pink and blue Cheeks crimson red You got me blushing till the end   I remember loving you Since the day I first met you. Alas the day before we met, My eyes loved what they saw   Too young to name the feeling, Too young to be scared, Too young to think anything, Too young to love.   So all of this is a dream come true, Walking down the aisle, so beautiful, Was I day dreaming? Or was it you, looking like a daydream?   Words coming out of my mouth, I wrote the script 10 years back, All the things I wanted to tell you, Once you become mine and I yours.   All the things I held back, I can now say them looking into your eyes, Oh, your beautiful caramel eyes.   Your love now Is all I wanted before, All I dreamt of, All I could think of.   You loving me, Was thought that brought me Eu