minus 2 years till the end of the world

By Rini -

Trail Of Thoughts- 16

Sto-rini - 10



Ok so to write this post I read my previous year post. And I noticed a few things:

1. I was a tad bit cringe

2. I had a resolution for 2022

3. I thought all my problems were solved just cuz I made friends

4. I talked mostly about what I did in the last couple of years.

 

So here is what we will do now. I will tell you everything about my life in 2022 (like a recap/ wrapped), so sit back and judge me!

 

Let me address the elephant in the room, what was my resolution for 2022? It was to work on my emotions. I used to force myself into thinking I was a robot with a metal heart (Emo era). And then I decided that it ought to change (post emo era). I think I’m still working on them. Well, better than before at least.


I have a list of achievements and failures rn but I will only highlight my fails because it’s fun.


1.       Being a bad friend – insensitive to people that care about me and also a little selfish.

2.       Worrying too little about future- caring less about what the future can hold and more about why there is a possibility I may fail. Being a real puella aeterna.

3.       Being over-confident- in school, in some situations where I think I know myself too well and prove that I’m wrong almost immediately.

4.       Being a bad human- in all kinds of relations, daughter, sister, and neighbor.

5.       Being a disappointment- to myself mostly and to others.

6.       Having way too many (or high) expectations on myself and being a perfectionist; having way too many unticked tasks in my to-do list; putting unrealistic goals.

7.       Skipping diary writing – being too lazy and forgetting the details of a day

8.       Not taking care of myself- giving no efforts and expecting results

9.       Hating on my body- it’s literally trying its best to keep me alive and I hate it because it’s not looking the way I want it to.

10.   Not trying enough or giving up too early- sometimes when I am not working on things that im interested in, I give zero efforts to complete it

11.   Short-temper, zero patience

12.   Hating people for no reason- I know I know, I hate prejudice too but sometimes I can’t help myself. I like to think of it as something called “dumping the hatred in mind”. When I trick myself into thinking I love myself, all the bottled up anger and hatred is released on an innocent victim.

13.   Being rude unintentionally

14.   Hating on languages (sorry Hindi. I hated you (and still do) because of the teacher that taught me you)

15.   Judging people – I do it super secretly but I still do it; so that’s a -1 for me

16.   Holding grudges- its childish but makes an awesome plot for stories

17.   Hating inefficiency

18.   Being over dramatic during periods- and not knowing who to blame it on.

19.   Not expressing love to my people

20.   Being addicted to some series (I’m 3 episodes away from the end of ‘the office’ 😭😭😭)


I can go on. All these don’t mean I hate myself; well according to me, they mean that I know my weak links. And that despite all I’m trying to love myself. It is kinda difficult, to be honest; more now that I actually wrote all of them down. It sucks.

 

Anyways, to lighten up the mood, some of my achievements

1. OUR BLOG SURPASSED 2500 VIEWS!!!

[Why is that I can’t think of anything?]

2. I got gifted a camera and I have been shooting myself repeatedly for my future self and remind her what a b she used to be.

3. I made some cool friends

4. Made some great memories

5. Learnt a lot about myself

6. Learning to work on my emotions and my next goal is to- I’ll reveal later


 I just realized I don’t have a lot of achievements in my 2022. Fun.

 

I made a few predictions for 2023 which I can read in December 2023 and laugh.

1. We surpass 4000 views (really hoping for this).

2. I get into a good institution.

3. I score well in my 12th.

4. I make more friends.

5. be happy.

 

Too much? Idk

 

So my resolution for 2023 is *drum roll* to work on carefully expressing my emotions.

Oh and also to have a material girl relive era. I also want to watch more movies.

 

That is it for today!

See you next year (im gonna miss you guys). And sorry for the lame joke but I had to.

Love you,

Rini.

 

 

TDD- bad. Just utterly bad.

I had a mental breakdown about not being able to study, losing focus and concentration. I cried so much.

I went to a naming ceremony of my friend’s niece, she is so cute.

I felt super prettyyy.

The date sheet of 12th board is released and that could be my 13th reason why.

I completed ‘The Office’. I CRIED SO MUCH OMG.

Why am I doing stuff that makes me cry smh?

Anyways, that was my last week in 2022, very bad. So I’m not really ‘excited’ for 2023. I have projects to do, studies to d13, so ya. Happy 2022 and a happier 2023.

 

Byeee

Love,

Me.

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