An Orange Cloud

 I like to remember while my brain loves to forget. But it's fun because every time I try to remember something, I remember little details I 'missed' before. It adds to the beauty of the memory.    Trail Of Thoughts- 27 Written on 10 th Jan, 2024.   I completed my exams last week. A whole year’s work had me exhausted. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to sleep in the exam hall. I completed in an hour. Anyways, I was relieved but not as much as I thought I would be. I imagined that I’d be soaring with freedom as my wings, flying into the fluffy water floating above ground. I thought I would be happier, my life more colourful, like my vision would become like those toy camera- colourful, soft and lovely.   But I was wrong, well partially.   I did feel happy, the harsh cold weather felt like a breeze and my locks flew in it.   My vision did become like one of those toy camera, the visuals were soft, joyful, lovely, happy and i...

I can hang by the thread Or I can jump on my own But in the end I'll be falling on the ground   I'll flow with the river Never stay at the bank I'll flow into the ocean And never come/look back   I wanna sail like a pirate Fighting the chaos I never want to set back And become one of them   I want to keep sailing Until I reach nowhere Because reaching is not my goal But to move on from the chaos   There is a lot of fish in the sea I can find something to eat The land can't keep me sane The land can’t make me a pirate   I don’t care about the destination I only care that I'm leaving I don’t know where I'm going But I know I want to be leaving And I know I'd be happy   I want to leave the chaos Leave everything behind I want to sail in the ocean Till I see no light   And once the night comes I'll take some rest and Deal with all the emotions About the end   The pirate ...

  I like the way you smile It brights up the night   Your eyes are like Those starry nights   Looking deep into them I see a universe peeking back at me   There’s a whole different world Inside those dark orbs   Those which felt empty Seem to be filled with life   I can look into them for hours And not get bored   Those dark marbles Give life to the butterflies Flying around us Making this even more magical   I see pink hearts floating around And heart shaped clouds flying by I see cupid with its bow Ready to shoot the arrow And I am ready to fall so slow Into your warmth, golden yellow   The sizzling sun doesn’t matter anymore The burning ground is nothing at all The hot summer is a bummer for sure But I’m happy, as long as I can be with you me amor   You’re the love of my life My not so long existence But I still long for you For I need what is mine   ...

February, 2023     I’m drowning in my pills The water is my tears   I’m swimming in the red pool I regret cutting like a fool   2019 was a nightmare I wish I could forget that   I still remember that phase When I wished I didn’t exist   2020 was nothing better I thought I’d cope up but was hopeless   I was deeper in the well I was only sinking deeper   The red got redder My eyes wetter The place darker My sky clouded   I prayed to even see a flower In the garden of my graveyard   I watered with my tears I waited for it to sprout   Little did I know That the king gave me a dummy   It used to be bad But it only got worse ‘Time heals’ they say But the same time kills Even the sun rays   When I least expected it Everything went down the hill It’s like they’re planning for my doomsday But I am not even away       ...

Trembling hands holding a pen Trying to answer a question   I see the first question My mind goes blank With white face and black pen Flashbacks about every time I slacked   I remember nothing It’s like I have been re-programmed No formulae, no concept No idea why im here   I try to wake up from the paralysis Clicking sounds, it’s been fifteen minutes I try to collect myself For I feel fragmented   I turn the pages in frantic In the unknown I want to find it Find something familiar Something I can do without fear   Blurred vision Perspiration Too hot for a jacket Too cold without one   I look around in anxiety Doing the sums like its nothing Using their brain as a calculator Writing the exam they prepared for   Wait prepared for? I look at the heading in bold “JEE Advance” But I study commerce!

  If every time we kiss, we forget I’d kiss you a million times Because then, I can fall in love with you a million times.   Maybe a million and one. But it’d be sad, To take something romantic And turn it into an end.   A kiss to forget is a curse, Or a blessing in disguise.   To kiss you would mean the world to me But after, you’re just another human being.   All the efforts you’d take So I’d fall in love with you Would all be worth, Once I become your world. (Again)   A kiss to forget Is definitely not an end. Because we will learn to love In many other ways.   A kiss to forget, But not an end. I would magically remember Everything one day.   And that day, darling Is when everything falls together.   It is when I fall for you All over again, one last time.   And that is the million And first time.   But you, my love, Have been in love With me, for...

  Heyyyy!!   The title may seem a bit absurd so let me explain. In 2021, when I first started this blog, I typed out a post talking about the year 2021 as a tribute to the year to post on December 30th 2021. And what did I title it? “Minus one year till the end of the world”. It was really funny, back then I was obsessed with apocalypse, existential crisis and world-ending stuff, I still am. So that felt super appropriate and it’s like letting people know that it’s been a year! And I did the same in 2022 as well, and thought to myself, ok so this is a tradition.   And two years later, we are here, minus 3 years till the end of the world! Trail Of Thoughts- 26 Sto-rini- 19   For all the newcomers, in this post I will be talking about a whole bunch of stuff. I will answer some questions I had for myself last year and see if any of the predictions came true. And at the end, we will be leaving some more questions and predictions for 2024 December Rini to laug...