a sad man's love
“There’s some life in me in the form of love for Her.”
The day I stop,
The life ceases to exist,
While I stay alive.
With void for a heart.
“Maybe I don’t deserve Her.”
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
The life in me,
Was dead all along.
“It’s complete darkness.”
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel,
But im all curled up,
With my head in my hands.
“I love Her”
It’s a matter of time, or not.
“She doesn’t love me”,
At least not the way wish.
“My absence may not affect Her on a great level”
Her presence makes the light warmer,
The tunnel more lighter.
“With or without me”
She can be.
But for me, the tunnel closes behind her,
It is getting colder,
Darker,
And worthless.
“i don’t want to trouble Her”
i only wish for Her happiness.
There’s enough for me,
In the laughs of Her with me.
Or without me.
Does it really matter?
Does my love matter?
To Her?
Do I matter to Her?
Do I matter?
Do i?
i?
“Continuing down this path,
I’m bound to hurt Her.”
Stopping would cause my heart to hurt.
“I want Her to choose me”
But i’m not the right piece to complete Her puzzle of
life.
“My love scares her”
It scares me even.
This love I have for Her,
It’s heavier than any mountain
I’ve carried.
“Maybe im doing something wrong somewhere”
Maybe im wrong.
Because love is never wrong
Love is pure; love is full of life
Something I never understood.
Why is the language so limiting
Why is it not enough to express my love
Is the concept of love foreign to me
Or is it just the language itself?
“Maybe im not destined to be loved”
“Not have a happy, peaceful life”
“All the love I felt for Her
Was plain, simple, and pure”
The way I would turn back time,
To watch Her laugh out one last time.
“My love’
“They say everything is fair in love and war”
“But why is it unfair to ask Her to choose me?”
do i know how this plays out?
Or am i scared of the beginning of the ending?
“My heart says ‘forget everything,
Love Her as much as I can,
As long as I last’”
My last breathe, my last sight,
The last of me,
My love will last longer, than me.
“She loves the moon,
I do too,
Alas, She’s my moon.”
The stars are Her eyes, twinkling with happiness
Her laughter my rainbows,
Her presence, my future.
Her presence makes me think of our future.
The future that’s at the end of the tunnel.
“How can I stop something,
That’s never ending?”
Do I even wish for it to end?
Does this love give my life purpose
Of worth living?
Is the part of me that loves Her,
The only part of me that’s alive
The only form of life there is
Worth living?
I look at your pictures, you make me cry
I close my tear-filled eyes, only to cry harder.
Is love always painful to the one who feels it the most?
Isn’t love supposed to be calm and peaceful?
Why does this love stir a storm in my mind?
Why does this love seem like a dark tunnel I need to pass
through and not the light at the end?
Is love the reward or just the hardships I need to go
through?
Am I even worthy of the love I put out?
Am I worthy of the love
Am I worthy
Am I
I
Why does it ache this much?
Does it always ache
To everyone
Who has ever loved
Anyone?
Why is love loved if so painful
What’s so lovely about love
If all it causes is pain?
Does my love end with one person?
“My heart is tired,
Trial and error is done.”
Maybe I find comfort in this hopelessness.
Afterall, the blanket of misery can protect me from the
seasons of life- be it winter or summer.
Even the smoke from pollution warms frozen hands.
Even the moon has phases,
Even the sun is not perfectly sphere
The love I drafted in every word I spelled,
The admiration in every letter to her heart,
Was it all a mistake?
Was it ever even right in the first place?
Were we right?
Like two peas in different pods
Finding similarities in struggles
Traumas in childhood
Unrequited love from the beginning
Were we ever right?
Will we ever be right?
The misery of losing,
As cold as it may sound,
The smoke from burning the unsent letters
Keeps me warm.
A lesson ill never try to revise,
A story ill never narrate,
Resides deep inside my blackened heart,
Written with black ink in the back of my mind.
~The End~
Why is it that I want to write when I have lot on my plate?
This poem- an inspiration from a friend.
It’s a stolen story with unparalleled emotions.
Its not stolen obvi, I took consent.
Atleast im professional.
This time.
Anyways,
When emotions are raw, I, as a poet, can not digest it
without cooking. And I cooked, with this poem.
I love how this poem turned out.
Though I took inspiration and copied his exact words,
Theres a ton of fictional element that I added that might
not resonate with him. And that might not be true in real life.
Purely coincidental. I have added a lot of my wishful thinking to make the poem
sadder and melancholy.
That’s why its not an adaption from chat to my blog. The story
is an inspiration to something refined.
Again, I took consent.
In the poem, I made sure to capitalise the other person’s
pronouns and keep the main character small lettered. Because that’s how the main
character felt the whole time. Smaller than the person he loved, smaller than
the love itself.
Share your thoughts on the poem and how the ending made you
feel.
I loved how the poem turned out and make sure to comment
your opinion and share your story if you can.
When I first showed the poem to the person, they thought I made
their story more beautiful than how it felt.
Im a poet,
I lie.
I lie to make things look more beautiful.
Or not.
Life is beautiful on its own.
Love as well.
I hope you liked the poem.
Thankyou,
Rini,
Yourorangecloud.
TDD- ten day diary
The most hectic week of my life I swear.
The sun is insane. Its not even summer and the heat is
getting to everyone.
Please stay hydrated and only leave if required and with
protection, sunscreen is a must!!!
Be safe everyone.
Life is scary out there at this point.
I hope you try to make it better in little ways to live
better.
Bye my lovies.
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