An Orange Cloud

  Sto-rini - 11 Today, something happened.   Everyone (kids and their mothers) was in a room just chit chatting. The kids were playing a game and suddenly one of them gets hurt. She says, “You hurt my feelings, my feelings are hurt” and rushes off.   I just sat there in a surprise actually. I was laughing because it felt funny and I was also happy she said that it hurt her. But ultimately it came off funny for me. It could’ve ended there but one of the mothers says, “I hate when kids sulk”. I didn’t like it. That hurt MY feelings. But I didn’t say so. Then another mother adds “whats so bad about (that topic that hurt the girl)?” I felt the need to interfere. I knew that girl was too young t defend herself and i also needed to have a beef with someone. (It has been long).   I said, “Even I would be embarrassed in that age”. The woman was surprised and turned her complete attention towards me. She looked like she had to hear it again to comprehend it so I d...

    I water my flower everyday Every night and every minute   What if it starts loving me? For me, you're nothing but a mere being   But for you, I'm the god Someone that provides for you   If you love me that much What would you do if I Forget to water you for a night? Or for a week or a month?   Would you forgive me for my mistake? Or was it even a mistake in the first place?   I was afraid I was gonna break your heart So instead I killed you.   Better? For me, yes.   I stand in my garden Now with no flowers   But I remember how you Once bloomed over there   When you tried to bloom your Best to catch my attention When you tried to grow over Me to have me with you   For me, you were just a flower, A mere flower Among hundred others Nothing less, maybe something more   I killed the flower It was a mistake I say to myself As I bring home new seeds to plant   A never-ending cycle with Same garden Same water Same me Same...

I love how you laugh The way you talk The way you make everyone smile The way you squint your eyes   The way you throw my troubles away The way you make me feel safe   You are someone’s enemy But forever my hero I protect you and you protect me And together we fly home   I love the way you make me feel loved The way you speak when you are happy The way you squeal when excited The way you beat those tears in your eyes   I love how you care for others Even though you pretend not to care at all The way you want to help the people Though you joke about being a dictator   I love your expressions I love your emotions When you battle within I wish I could say let it be   I love how you whisper the joke to me So I would be the one to crack it And you don’t mind about the credit   I love how you dance when alone When you think you are free of stares But I would be there And you wouldn’t care And I would be blown away   I love the way you lead others You sa...

Trail Of Thoughts- 16 Sto-rini - 10 Ok so to write this post I read my previous year post. And I noticed a few things: 1. I was a tad bit cringe 2. I had a resolution for 2022 3. I thought all my problems were solved just cuz I made friends 4. I talked mostly about what I did in the last couple of years.   So here is what we will do now. I will tell you everything about my life in 2022 (like a recap/ wrapped), so sit back and judge me!   Let me address the elephant in the room, what was my resolution for 2022? It was to work on my emotions. I used to force myself into thinking I was a robot with a metal heart (Emo era). And then I decided that it ought to change (post emo era). I think I’m still working on them. Well, better than before at least. I have a list of achievements and failures rn but I will only highlight my fails because it’s fun. 1.        Being a bad friend – insensitive to people that care about me and also a little...

Trail Of Thoughts- 15 These days I’ve been listening to particular songs on repeat for hours together. It’s like I don’t want to change and stay on loop. Well change is inevitable anyways, so why change something I can control. That worried me a bit. Am I not adjusting to change?  Is this a kind of escape I so want? Or am I just reading too much into a simple song I love. Just as I was thinking about how I may not be suitable to this ever changing world, Spotify released its ‘Spotify Wrapped’.   It was quite exciting to be honest, to have a sneak peek of my music journey in this speed of light year. Can we just stop and take a deep breath and realize its December already? I’m not going to try to be cliché and say stuff like “it was just yesterday I remember cutting the cake that had ‘happy new year 2022’ on it and that dramatic sign that read ‘bye bye 2021, welcome 2022’” but hear me out. I joined 12 th class this year march. And I had my summer vacay for a lovely 50 days and...

I just watched this video  titled, ‘The Psychology of the Man-Child (Puer Aeternus)’ by ‘Eternalised’ and this is everything that went in my mind after watching it.   Trail Of Thoughts - 14     It’s about people who don’t live life but live in their imaginary reality rather than the real one. They build air castles but do not act upon it. They are lazy and have tasks in their to-do list but don’t work which eventually makes them unsuccessful despite their talents and creativity. I describe that person in the video as a pessimist who does as little as work physically for the future in the reality but more mentally in the future of ‘his’ reality.   It is also about not using your creativity in the right way. It’s about living the life the child in you wants or wanted. It’s not just about rationality but to live with others and not just in your mind. It’s about living with others, humans, people and at the same time making sure you don’t get lost in them, with them...

Trail Of Thoughts- 13 (the devil number indeed)     If you ever attended a maths class (trying to keep it extremely general), you may have noticed the alphabets come to play as you study higher.   One thing I noticed that was quite peculiar is that, the first few letters are considered to be constants and the last letters as variables. This made me think. How the humans are connected to maths and its beautiful language. Human life. The first few years of all humans are basically constant. They are all cute, adorable (and annoying). As life goes by, the humans change. They don’t stay constant anymore. As they say, change is the only constant, the humans change so much in the course of their life that at the end of it, they are variables. They change all the time.   Their values change according to the equation they are in. In the sense, the situation, place, and phase. People’s values change.   I learnt two things here. We can choose our own equation and consider...