An Orange Cloud

  “There’s some life in me in the form of love for Her.” The day I stop, The life ceases to exist, While I stay alive. With void for a heart.   “Maybe I don’t deserve Her.” Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. The life in me, Was dead all along.   “It’s complete darkness.” There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, But im all curled up, With my head in my hands.   “I love Her” It’s a matter of time, or not. “She doesn’t love me”, At least not the way wish.   “My absence may not affect Her on a great level” Her presence makes the light warmer, The tunnel more lighter.   “With or without me” She can be.   But for me, the tunnel closes behind her, It is getting colder, Darker, And worthless.   “i don’t want to trouble Her” i only wish for Her happiness. There’s enough for me, In the laughs of Her with me.   Or without me.   Does it really matter?   Does my l...

    Act II A bit of joy   One thing kru knows apart from soothing her always raged twin sister is that she is the eldest and the mother of the group. When she practically dragged Sohan to accompany her, she did so to purchase something to eat. It was evident she didn’t love Shourya like a loyal friend in the beginning, but as time went by she started having feelings for him. It was bittersweet. One minute she hates his guts and one minute she loves his dreamy smile and bouncy silky hair. Of course, she never told anyone about it because that would be very wrong. She thought he was handsome from the moment Shalini so proudly showed him off on her birthday night. The day the boyfriend was introduced to the group was her most memorable day. More memorable than the time she won championship for quiz. She was smart but a fool in love. But she was smart. She made sure no one had a clue. In fact she was the one who proposed they invite him to the trip but so cleverly del...

Act I The mistake    “We FINALLY made it out of the group chat guys!!!” exclaims Sohan in pure joy. The trip was in the planning stage for years and it’s finally time for them to implement it. The group of six, three boys and three girls in their 20s have been friends since forever. All the families grew together except for Shourya, Shalini’s boyfriend, who was introduced to the pack few years back. Shalini wanted to wait another year before introducing him but the situation wasn’t very advantageous to her. You see, he called her at midnight on her birthday, with everyone around her. It was not a smooth night. While her parents were convinced it was just a friend, the four friends were very suspicious. Knowing she can’t get away with it with white lies, she decided to whip put a power point presentation introducing the boyfriend. Shalini decided to carefully select and highlight his good characteristics while foreshadowing his worse ones. The twins, Kruthika and Karthika gave ...

  I saw you in the clouds the other night, You were a blurry image in my eyes   I’ve seen you though a thick fog I followed you without a thought   You were leading me to nowhere And I've got no place to stay   Is this what you’ve wanted me to do? To make the grave mistake of being lured?   Is this how it’s supposed to end? Or is the something from the past?   If I could talk to old me I would not disturb the destiny I would not be me If I erased what made me, me   And what made me become the person I am ur actions and the words you pierce me through Has no definite answer, but I know you’re the wolf and I’m the lamb   I bled to the floor, into a puddle Never expected this sadness, so sudden.   Well what is sadness, if not a surprise? What is sadness if it doesn’t catch you off guard? What is sadness if not a peak-a-boo? What is sadness if not an uninvited visitor? What is sadness if...

She suddenly realised she might be alone for the rest of her life   It has been exactly a week since the funeral.   The day she found out about it, or more like was told about it, was when she was on a vacation, the corporate kind. She wanted to take a break from the soul crushing work and toxic culture of the office and this meeting with an important overseas client could not come at a better time. Being the manager for the project of the client, she was the backbone of the meeting and there was no way she can miss it. And no worries, because her bags were practically packed the day, they announced the meeting (the dates weren’t even released yet). But there was a small hurdle to pass. She needed her husband’s approval to go.   After long thoughts and few days of sleeping on it, he reluctantly said yes. She was overjoyed and extremely happy. She packed her bags and left to the airport. She was a couple of hours early, too late in Indian standards, and was bro...

  Im living in minutes I look away for a while and it’s been 30 minutes   I could never look at the clock the same way For im being chased by the ghost called fast-forward It’s like my life has been taken away And im watching it as it moves forward.   Im living in minutes, It takes me 20 minutes to get a 5-min power nap.   Anything I do, the minutes pass by Without a warning, they whoosh by Im just a pedestrian in the highway of time Yet I get to the destination like I’m in f1   Im living in minutes, Until I’m doing a plank of 2 minutes, for when its 120 seconds.   It’s been just yesterday when the trees were lush, Been a minute and now it’s all branches and dust. All the flowers bloomed and bloomed No more left to colour the empty road now.   I’m living in minutes, Slots of 20 minutes, watching my favourite series.   One more episode and its 1 am, When will I ever learn my lesson? “Teaser ...

  Oh captain, my captain, I see you everywhere   But I need to erase the pain, Numb it with the discomfort of freedom.   I need to dampen the spirits Steal joy like shushed laughs, Blank responses, Unprofessional show of teeth, Over explaining thoughts, Under-understanding of actions, Misinterpretation of expressions, Fumbling of well curated words, Mis-articulation of rehearsed thoughts, Choking up at the time of alarm, Freezing at the sight of fear Overtaken by fear of uncertain fear of failure.     I shut down the routes to road less taken, I shut off the demons singing poetry in my nerves, I scream at the nostalgia eating me alive, I laugh at the state of my mind I have chosen for myself.     Oh captain, my captain, What am I without my random scribbles of rhyming lines? What am I without my loud laughs at the whimsy of life? What am I without the curiosity for magic in my every day; While...

  It’s just January  Trail Of Thoughts-44 January can be the month of optimism. It has that potential AND the advantage.   It is the beginning of the year. No one can dampen your spirits or say a word that can falter your enthusiastic looking forwardness to life. Because it IS the beginning of the year.   It is a new beginning.   The other day, I was feeling a little down on not following through on my routine I planned for myself for the year. Then it clicked. It’s just January. I still have the whole year to mess-up- I’m kidding. It’s a huge relief. It is only five days in; it is a safe space for fuk-ups and failures. It is okay.   I saw a YouTube video the other day that talked about feeling overwhelmed when starting a new thing on the account of New Year. We put resolutions- a goal- an end, and fall back on the means. It gets overwhelming. The solution was to consider short term goals, instead of long term, to get the momentum goin...