don't joke about being

By Rini -

You joked about being dead
You joke about killing yourself
But that didn’t really bother me
Because I thought you were kidding.
 
But one day it really got me.
My fake scenario’s genre changed
I imagined you being dead before me
I was so sad and so scared.
 
A lot of emotions
Rushed in my mind.
The strongest one was
The feeling of regret.
 
I regret not helping you.
I regret ignoring you.
I regret all those days.
When I hated you for a change.
 
I regretted not being able to
Change how I felt towards you.
But I was too late for that
You were gone thinking I hated you.
 
At first I was unbothered
By your silly confessions.
But now I'm truly scared.
Scared to face those emotions.
 
Please don’t be gone
I need you by my side
I know this don’t make sense
But hear me out for once.
 
You may want to save yourself
From all the misery in life.
But you should think about others.
Others who have you in their hearts.
 
Please don’t joke about being dead
I’ll slap you across your face if you do.
 
I don’t want to be alone.
Let's suffer together if you want.
 
Tell me about your day.
Tell me about those bitches you hate.
Tell me the funniest jokes you heard today.
Tell me everything about your day.
 
Tell me about that guy you like.
Tell me about that girl that betrayed you.
Tell me about that teachers you like.
Tell me everything about your life.
 
Just don’t hide
thinking I don’t care
Because I mind,
And would do anything for you to be saved.


~The  End~



I'm dedicating this to my best friend and to all my people who joke about being d34d. 
I'm not going to lecture you about how it is so bad and depressing because I do that too. I'm just telling you that there are people who love you so much that you would be leaving them devastated once you go. so I'm just asking you to think of them if you are too sad to think about yourself. (I'm sorry if that wasn't helpful, I obviously don't have a degree in psychology or studied anything regarding human psychology to help you. but there are professionals you can contact.)

I get an ad saying "this is your sign to take therapy" after very 5 reels I watch on Instagram. unrelated but funny. 

anyways, the world we are living in is a depressing, chaotic piece of shi- land. so just live it out. be happy, stay confident, stack up your happy thoughts, open your bottle, talk with your people, vent your worries, cry if you can. 
ok??

fine, I won't nag you anymore. 
byeeee
love,
Rini.

(yes i wrote a song, actually a singer and i collaborated and she agreed to sing a poem i wrote.
here's the link . hope you like it!!)


TDD-  {for the new people here, tdd means "ten-day-diary". in this, i share glimpses of my life in the ten day break as a way to record it. you know the time between my blog posts. so don't be confused if you sense something very different from the beginning to this part.}

anyways, in today's tdd I'm going to tell you what happened in my life in the past ten days. 
11th- I attended my cousin's marriage.  omg i wore this beautiful dress (which took so many kilometers to travel, soo many trials, so many shops to go to, so many faces to deceive into buying).
12th- had a lazy lunch with some relatives. oh and omg I got my book ahhh!! I got published in "The Write Order's" limited edition anthology "Forget Me Not" held in the month of march. (I copied that from the certificate). So yeah there are only 10 people in this book. 
13th- went to watch a movie with the fam. it was fine. 
14th- had fun with some friends. I hung out with a bunch of friends after a long time. We didn't do a lot but had a lot of fun. 
15th- cleaning around the house
16th- i read my 2021 diary and omg i was so good at writing.
17th- period. that should pretty much sum up my day.
18th- got a new phone!! (technically it's mom's but whatever). its Samsung m32. pretty cool. but I hate those emojis omg
19th- happy father's day!! 
20th- posting ;)

have a great day (or night) y'all!!
byee

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