Instant Love

This is easily my longest poem yet. I don't want you guys to get habituated to this length though lol. its a story i thought of. 

I still remember sitting behind the screen

Blushing when you said that you love me

That was quite sudden

But I didn't care

All I did was 

Watch you play

I didn't care but to wonder

How you were so sure

It's only been a few days

And you seem awake

But I'm still dreaming

The world of impossible

How you could love me

While I didn't myself

I had a question. No, a lot of them

I broke the tension and asked them

'why do you like me?'

I asked him with aching heart

'no reason' he said casually

But I didn't let down my guard

'why do you like me?'

This time it was serious

I think he sensed it

He started off with a few adjectives

I felt satisfied but

I wanted more

Showing off 

My human nature

He evaded my questions

and I couldn't know it

I just went with the flow

Wondering my next move

We chatted and chatted. 

Never heard the voices once.

We were so in love

Or so we thought

Days passed and I 

Felt something was off

I started having

Trust issues

I asked for his password.

He hesitated but didn't show it

He gave it after a minute

As if clearing something

Just as I expected

There was nothing at all

Just chats with his friends

And yes, nothing more

I got more suspicious

Wanting more evidences

To prove he isn't

Right for me.

I stopped. I wasn't thinking straight. 

I was acting on influence

But whose exactly?

Everything felt 

So difficult

I couldn't get it 

Out my mind

I started noticing

Girls messaging him

But the most craziest

Is him messaging back

I got angry and sad

Felt like I didn't have a right

To stop him because

He said he loved me

Just because he said it first

It felt like I lacked the authority

That was stupid

But I didn't know.

And then he asked for my password

I gave it to him cuz I got nothing to hide

He messaged a few boys and deleted their chats

I got furious, how dare he do that?

Nvm I thought

And he repeated his fault

Just a week passed 

Since he confessed

Felt like an eternity

Fighting in the battlefield

Nonetheless the problems

He was a sweet talker 

Makes you forget the world

With all his magic spells

Makes me wonder 

How many girls were

Under his spell

It just doesn't matter anymore

Cuz I broke up with him long ago

It's been a year and 

I feel so much better

Hoped for a better end

But I'm happy with what I got 

'so' I thought to myself

'this is what instant love feels like'

Feels nothing like the stories on my shelf

But sure a story to share. 

~The End ~

yep thats it. what'd you think? i hope you guys like it :3 

the last line was really difficult for me to say lmao. after just severa- i mean three or four attempts I got it right haha (laughs nervously).

we have one more month until 2022. it feels so surreal ngl.

it feels like time just flew by though we know it didn't. i mean i can still remember the first months of 2021. i remember the ny party, my bday, masked school and all the others. sigh. i am not sure if it's a good thing or not. anyways, that's it for today. bye!

love,

Rini.

(all right, 10 days diary. today {30/11/21} was my first exam, first offline one in a while actually. T_T [i write this before the date its published so idk how i performed in my exam :') im anxious]  anyways, the last 10 days flew by because as long as i can remember i was writing this for my last post just yesterday. feels like it. i feel so lazy and tired these days. just bored.

my english mam gave us an assignment "Pair-Interaction". its basically a speaking skills test, two students should record themselves talking about a topic. my friend i chose "Expressing Ourselves As A Teenager". that was a bit extra comparing to our fellow friends topics lol. {actually a lot extra if i may add} i think it came out pretty well. ooh what if i post about it? that'll be cool, eh? 

okay then, peace out!)