to me

i have seen it all,

The darkness lurking all around.

i have experienced it all,

The many wounds on my heart show it all.

.

Is there any love left inside of me?

Am i even worthy of anything?

These questions keep me awake

While my tears dry up on my face.

.

Barren land surrounds my broken home

i can’t even find a single brick of hope

Tragedy fills up my eyes,

While a smile covers my bleak life.

.

What is life without living, but a shell with nothing;

Not even a life, if you ask me.

.

i can sense myself falling,

falling, falling, falling

Nothing to grab on to

Nothing to live for,

Except to hold on

Till i stop falling one day.

.

Is not falling better than falling?

Is life prettier if i stop falling down,

...

And fall in love?

.

But what if  i’m incapable of love?

What if life is but a lesson?

What if my life was never worth anything?

.

All the while i fall, in the dark, dark night

i wish for a star, a wish so subtle

i don’t want to seem desperate,

but i still wish to float.

.

I wish for a star,

A twinkle

A glimpse of hope.

 

One day, i will see it.

One day, I will open my eyes;

.

One day, I will live.

 

~The End~

 

This fight will not end without me winning it.

 

 

 

I wrote this poem for a follower from instagram. I made a reel and asked people to comment and follow me to get a customised poem for them.

When I asked this person to tell me something about them, their words truly touched my heart, it was a raw feeling of finding oneself “unworthy” of everything life gives. The state of being helpless, not being able to find anything appreciative without it disappearing and lastly hopeless.

 

I was crushed to heart and this was the aftermath.

 

I hope you guys love this poem, I was in a flow when I wrote this.

 

A small easter egg I planted is the “I” in the beginning of the poem. They’re all small “i”s, meaning how small the person is feeling. And when they finally found hope and courage, they grew and thus the capital “I”.

I loved this little symbolism.

As much as I was itching to make them grammatically correct, I stayed true to my poetic side. I’m in love.

 

Also the title, it says "to me" and not "to myself" because I technically didn't write this to myself but rather to someone else. Since the whole poem is their perspective, it says "to me". like, Rini wrote this poem to me. In that way. 

Hopefully you do not relate to this. If you do, just remember you’re not alone and you’re definitely worthy of everything you’re given and you deserve more than what your brain makes you think.

 

Love love

Spreading love <3