episode 4 of "i can't sing"

 i called them episodes in the first place and now i can't take it back.

before reading this, you have to go read the first three episodes, you can find them on my blog label "i can't sing"!! here's the link. i cant sing

 

 

Uma found me walking to school and decided to join me as a good friend. Only I was sad that I wished it was someone else. You know what; I am not going to think about him for a while now. I have a friend right beside me who is happy to see me just like you when you see him -shut up brain!! I need to learn how to be a good friend. I should talk to her and give her good company. You can’t deny it- ahhh.

 

“Soo, I think you liked the poem from last week, huh?” Uma was THE happiest when she read the love poems I showed. There are more in wip that they don’t know about. Her reactions to my poems were what kept me on the ship while his were crashing me from all directions. No I will not think about him. When she saw my broken face, she immediately talked with me after our band meeting. It’s like she heard my heart break. Even though she tried to keep me smiling all day, I was still sad by the time I reached home, all alone in my room. She was my anchor. “Like it? I LOVED each and every one of them!!” that day while she was praising me of the poems she ‘revealed’ to the band that she is a huge romantic. The air quotes because we all knew it. She is so obvious. Any time a new series is released in any language, we all had to go through the wrath of her talking about it. The only thing we are glad about is that those series people post one episode a week so we all get a break for a few days before it all began again. We only go through it because of the glimmer in her eyes when she talks about the two main leads holding hands in the 4^th episode. Sigh. When will our 4^th episode come? What? A girl can’t dream? Ya I know I said I won’t think OF him. I didn’t say I will not think of us. Grins smugly then comes back to reality.

 

“What’s with Aditya and his party pooper activities that day though?” Uma says out of nowhere like she read my mind. “He is a total idiot” she says as if she could see the ruins of my peace. I sigh of relief and a whiff of sadness. I don’t want her to see me overthinking about it anymore. I need to stop think about him that’s like the hundredth time you said that shut up thoughts.

 

“Meh, anyways, I’m very excited about the composing ><” I say masking my real emotions. Not that deep though. I just want to distract myself and think about something nice, for once. “Omggg so true!! This time Madhan and I are going to work on it together” she says with a huge smile covering half of her cute face, almost blushing. She has dark hair, very thick (my mom kills me comparing me to her), her hair is always in a braid. The one thing I love about our school is that there are no rules about hairstyles. While the many schools I have been to where it’s mandatory for us to have ribbons in our hair, here we just don’t have to leave the hair loose. I wear a ponytail. There has to be some kind of clip or hair band. That’s it. But Uma always braids her hair. I think I saw her without braid, but a ponytail, on her birthday last month. Though we are allowed to wear civil dress on our birthdays, Uma came in wearing uniform. “See, I wore a ponytail” she said showing her long ponytail when I asked her what’s special for the day. I internally did a face palm.

 

Her eyes are round, brown and huge. You can see the whole world in it. She has fair complexion, little chubby, and extremely beautiful. You know there is a difference among cute, pretty and beautiful, or at least I think there is. Cute means someone who has fluffy skin and fun personality. Pretty is someone who has those model genes. And lastly beautiful means, well, hmmm, I don’t know how to explain it but beautiful is just that, indescribable. It’s subjective; everyone has different views on it. She is on the beautiful side, both inside and outside. Her uniform is slightly old, considering she has been studying in this school since, forever. She told me that the reason she joined in this school is because of a scholarship she won in a lucky draw.

 

So about that lucky draw. Every 3 years, a lucky draw is done. All the students’ names and admission numbers are in this huge box. The winner of the lucky draw wins scholarship to study in the school till 10^th! The winner sure is lucky. The day when Uma won that lottery was her best day in life as she got to continue in this privileged school.

 

Back to reality. Wait did she just say she was composing with Madhan??? But she NEVER lets anyone ‘disturb’ her, her words not mine, until she is done with a draft/symphony. That’s a banger.

 

“I know what you’re thinking, but he said he wanted to do it so badly and was very excited like me”, she says after reading my question mark face. “Well, you’re not wrong”, he was in fact very excited about it that day. They talked, almost screamed, the next day. Now I know why. “So how far long did you guys come?” “Not very far, we have those exams right? We thought we would take a break and come back after the exams.”

“Oh right the exams……. WAIT WHAT EXAMS??” I nearly scream her ears off in the middle of the road. I’m sure the bike driver who did a small swerve cursed me. Also the cat that just woke from its slumber is ready to scratch me. I TOTALLY forgot about the exams. “NO WAY YOU FORGOT?? The topper of the class in not in update with the schedule?? What a breaking news” she says in a sarcastic tone I almost want to deadpan hit her mouth. “Shhhh I hate you” “I love you too Nakshatra heehee” she says with a huge grin. We almost reach the school gates and my mind drifts again he could be here any minute, 5 minutes 19 seconds to be exact. God, do I sound like a stalker. For an atheist you say “God” a lot .I want to hit that little voice.

 

Anyways it’s not like I completely forgot about the exams, I was just busy in my mind because of him. But she doesn’t need to know the reason. Time flew. “They start the week after next week btw”, she says with a tint of concern in her tone. God I love her. I am deep in my thoughts, I’m gonna plan the whole week so I can be ready for the exams. One thing about me, I LOVE exams. Thought I deeply dread them, I treat the exams like people treat their siblings. Only I don’t have any therefore exams are my siblings. God, are you lonely.

 

Ignoring my brain, I go to mind palace and start scheduling the week by the subjects priority wise. I can start with math- “We’re here Naksh. Time to part. I’m going to miss you”, Uma says dramatically as she walks to her class. She is from b section. I usually go with her drama but now I’m super focussed and she didn’t make a fuss about it because she knows. She knows me more than I tell her. That’s so comforting yet creepy. I smile to myself because that was funny AF. “What are you giggling about, N?” a bold voice speaks to me.

 

and the drama continues~

sooo, how was this?? i realllyy like this one. just let me know if you think the writing is a bit messy or any improvements are needed. constructive criticism is accepted. 

hoping to see where the sory's headed? wait for only 30 dayss

i hope you're having a greatttt life, we will enter into the 4th quarter (or the 3rd for the accountants and tax payers) of 2024 already. only 3 months and we will be saying "bye bye 2024, come come 2025" *shudders from ptsd* 

anyways, have a great week and ill see you guys on the next one!

TDD- ten day diary

5 weeks since exams started, 10 in, im feeling both motivated and done. 

life is that, a mixture of feelings.

thats its for today, byee!!!