An Orange Cloud

  Oh captain, my captain, I see you everywhere   But I need to erase the pain, Numb it with the discomfort of freedom.   I need to dampen the spirits Steal joy like shushed laughs, Blank responses, Unprofessional show of teeth, Over explaining thoughts, Under-understanding of actions, Misinterpretation of expressions, Fumbling of well curated words, Mis-articulation of rehearsed thoughts, Choking up at the time of alarm, Freezing at the sight of fear Overtaken by fear of uncertain fear of failure.     I shut down the routes to road less taken, I shut off the demons singing poetry in my nerves, I scream at the nostalgia eating me alive, I laugh at the state of my mind I have chosen for myself.     Oh captain, my captain, What am I without my random scribbles of rhyming lines? What am I without my loud laughs at the whimsy of life? What am I without the curiosity for magic in my every day; While...

  It’s just January  Trail Of Thoughts-44 January can be the month of optimism. It has that potential AND the advantage.   It is the beginning of the year. No one can dampen your spirits or say a word that can falter your enthusiastic looking forwardness to life. Because it IS the beginning of the year.   It is a new beginning.   The other day, I was feeling a little down on not following through on my routine I planned for myself for the year. Then it clicked. It’s just January. I still have the whole year to mess-up- I’m kidding. It’s a huge relief. It is only five days in; it is a safe space for fuk-ups and failures. It is okay.   I saw a YouTube video the other day that talked about feeling overwhelmed when starting a new thing on the account of New Year. We put resolutions- a goal- an end, and fall back on the means. It gets overwhelming. The solution was to consider short term goals, instead of long term, to get the momentum goin...

 Nostalgia is the driving force for documentation  Trail Of Thoughts-43 At least for me, it is.   Every time I pick up my camera or the camera app in my phone, I think about how cool it would seem to re-visit the memories in few years time. It’s weird to be already living in the future while not even being in the present.   When experiences already turn into memories, it feels like self-sabotage at this point. Sabotaging the sweet enjoyment of the gift of now. The idea of imagining opening a time capsule while actively being the very item in it.    It’s hard not to think of any other reason when we document a moment, freeze the time, capture the present.   Wearing the lens of a different time, trying to look at the ‘now’ with a matured feeling, while simultaneously experiencing the moment with raw emotions, freshly. This might be the opposite of overthinking with the most similarities to overthinking. The concept of overthinking is pr...