chapter 6 of i cant sing

By Rini -

 

Aditya

 

I’m very observant. Well, not to flex but I can notice little things easily. And since I don’t speak a lot, I don’t come off as such. Why, you ask? I really don’t know. I just don’t like exhausting myself by expressing myself a lot. What’s gonna happen if I do speak to others? It’s not like they will solve anything. Then why speak at all?

 

It’s also a win-win for me. I don’t get to speak and I can protect my chords (vocal I mean) from getting f-ed up.

Sorry for the bad language. I can’t speak badly at home and not even here?

 

*bREAkiNG tHE fOrTH wALL*

Rini: I’d like to keep it family friendly, Aditya.

 

Oh. Can I say once more? Hmmm f off.

 

Ok, anyways. I am not violent though. I do (used to) fight, only in the ring, not outside, my couch is very and I mean very strict about that.

TMI much?

 

It’s currently 8:20 am. I just bid bye to my mom who was smiling warmly, a well meant smile. She is a petite woman in her forties; she has curly black hair that falls just below her shoulders. My father was standing next to her, hands behind his back with a serious look on it. Just as I leave the house, I can hear my mom scolding him to get ready for office.

 

I start early even though school starts at nine and I reach by 8:40am. I’d rather reach at 8:59, thank you very much. But my dad would take into his hands physically to unalive me if I get late or worse have the principal call him again.

 

I take my ear buds out of my pocket and put them on. I open my phone and search for Nocturnes, Op. 9: No. 1 in B-Flat Minor by Frédéric Chopin and hit play. This song plays on loop in the mornings on my journey to school. If my father knows how to express his love via gift giving, we would have a piano at home, which we do. The day he surprised me with it is my best birthday ever. He clearly outdid himself.

 

And just like that, with my feet on auto pilot, I reached my first stop, the convenience store. I go there every two days to buy treats, no not for me, it’s for my belle.

 

After paying the cashier, I go out back to the alley to meet her. Yes her. She is the cutest being I ever laid eyes on. When she looks at me with those hazel brown eyes, I cannot resist myself. I just want to grab on to her and give her little kisses, as if the world would end if I didn’t. I love her so much. We don’t meet every day but when we do, she easily makes my day. Sometimes she plays hard to get but we both know it won’t last long. She loves to fall on me and wrap herself in my arms and snuggle. And those snacks? She loves them. Especially the banana milk. Oh and the strawberry too. When she ever so cutely drinks it, her eyes shape into love. She is so very cute. I can’t believe she has me giggling like this.

 

No one knows about her, not my family or my band mates. She is my cute little secret and I’d like to keep it that way.

 

I walk to the little space behind the store with hopeful stride and my lips curl as I see her.

 

‘Meowww’ she purrs into my hands (and heart) as I bend down. Bell is THE cutest cat and you cannot tell me otherwise. I'm only soft for her. I think she likes the watermelon I brought today. I was a bit disappointed they didn’t have any of her favourites. I even got her a small fish tin. Though I hate non-veg, I don’t mind to touch it for her. She purrs as she devours the food.

The day she finds a boyfriend, is the day I d13.

 

Its 8:30 as I begrudgingly let go of belle. I pass by Nakshathra’s house but I don’t give much thought to it as she is going to walk, I mean run to me like many times before. She then pants for a good three seconds and resumes walking to the school with me.

 

Remember when I told you im very observant? It doesn’t take an observant like me or Uma to figure her out. She is very expressive, her eyes even more. It’s like they can speak. When she is confused her brows scrunch and her lips pout. Or when she’s embarrassed, her eyes bulge open and a smile that says ‘nahhhhhhh’.

 

A smile curls on my lips and im almost near the school gates. I check the time, its 8:39. Good. On time. As soon as my peripheral vision catches a glimpse of our school gate, all my senses shut down. It’s so loud; I could feel it in the ground. Why is school so chaotic? I hate it.

 

As I try to shut things down, my brain returns to my latest thought.

 

Her.

 

It’s been one year since she joined and I already learnt all her expressions. The way her eyes glow when she is happy and excited about something. I see it when she shows us the lyrics of our next song and when Uma, our guitarist and main composer, comes up with a symphony. It’s beautiful, her excitement, I mean. And maybe she is as well.

 

I'm now inside the premises and walking to my class. B section. As I walk past a section, the class of our drummer and hers, I try to find her. What? I just want to know if she came or not.

Aaand she did, she came in early today.

 

She is sitting in her ‘best spot in class’, as she calls it. I heard her flexing to Uma, a few months back when we met for band meet. It was in the beginning of this year. She was new and im not very welcoming, socially speaking, so I just did what im best at, observed her fro far. I only talked with her when she said she used to have a cat but it ran away with some girl cat. I remember chuckling and immediately regretting it. She almost cried. I don’t think she likes me that much.

 

As I look at her face, slouched down, almost melancholic, my feet come to a halt. She doesn’t look up. I stare for only a few seconds and walk away. She has that same look she did, on that day. The day she surprised all of us with love songs.

 

What was her look like? Yes it was a strange mix of love, longing and regret. A lot of first one.

Today, the later ones highlight.

 

 

 

And the drama continues…

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