An Orange Cloud

A little background about the title, back in 2021 when I started this blog (on blogger), I was in the ‘apocalypse’ phase. It’s like the emo phase but make it zombie apocalypse. My best friend got me into this. I was super into movies and series with this theme. Conspiracy theories, if you may. I named my first December 30 th post as “ minus 1 year till the end of the day ” and did the same for 2 more years and here we are.   Trail Of Thoughts- 37 Sto-rini-  24 When I think back on this year, 2024, I’m not going back enough and all I can think of is the stu-dying part. In my defense, I had tons of exams and only studying for the past 8 months. Vigorously for the past couple. I don’t really see anything more positive than studying in a yellow painted walls windows locked room. Here’s a picture from when it rained a lot and it cleared the atmosphere and I could see actual colours other than black scribbles on white for the first time in a few months . September 19 th , 202...

  I click not interested for all the love posts on instagram Because I don’t think love exists like that   I don’t want stuff you can see I need the love that one can feel   I want the kind of love that starts with friends And our death is where it ends.   I want the kind of love That makes me the happiest in the world   I want the kind of love Helps me calm down   The kind of love That tells me to self love   The kind of love Till death do us apart   The kind of love That doesn’t kill each other   The kind of love That I would look forward to   The kind of love That I’ve always dreamt of.   I want the kind of love That makes me appreciate love. Helps me love love. Helps me cry happy tears. Helps me feel. Helps me conceal the fear. Keeps the skies clear.   2-9-24   Weathers the storms in my mind When I feel my worst When I feel like nothing...

  What do you want me to say? I don’t know what you want me to say,   I think you’re overreacting He is just a friend You’re borderline insane If you think there’s a link   Oh baby, calm down Nothing’s ever gonna go wrong Oh baby, keep it low I don’t want others to know   Why don’t you understand? Why are you jumping into conclusions? Why don’t you keep your mind open? Why don’t you keep us open?   I’m just saying I’m getting bored. It’s not serious but just letting you know.   I am sorry if you got hurt I was going through something Even though you think it’s not serious I was also going through silent battles.   I’m sorry you forgot to remind me of your birthday That is why I couldn’t wish you on that day I’m sorry but I forgive you bae It was an honest mistake that you made  

  Aditya   I’m very observant. Well, not to flex but I can notice little things easily. And since I don’t speak a lot, I don’t come off as such. Why, you ask? I really don’t know. I just don’t like exhausting myself by expressing myself a lot. What’s gonna happen if I do speak to others? It’s not like they will solve anything. Then why speak at all?   It’s also a win-win for me. I don’t get to speak and I can protect my chords (vocal I mean) from getting f-ed up. Sorry for the bad language. I can’t speak badly at home and not even here?   *bREAkiNG tHE fOrTH wALL* Rini: I’d like to keep it family friendly, Aditya.   Oh. Can I say once more? Hmmm f off.   Ok, anyways. I am not violent though. I do (used to) fight, only in the ring, not outside, my couch is very and I mean very strict about that. TMI much?   It’s currently 8:20 am. I just bid bye to my mom who was smiling warmly, a well meant smile. She is a petite woman in ...

  I watch you fall in love While I save myself. Its heart wrenching To see someone waiting And you know you won’t Take them to their home.   I am not sure if I want you To fall for me Because it feels nice To be admired.   But then again, I can’t Torture you with The pain that comes with love.   The pain that comes with loving And not being loved back.   I read the books that Explain all sorts of Loves and their paybacks But never experienced one.   I watch you cry for me While I smile without glee. I’m not sure what to do Except to say I told you so.   I watch you break for me But I’m not the glue you need.   I watch you become a hero But I’m not you’re heroine.   I watch you become the devil for me But I’m not the angel in the sky flying.                       ...

5th july, 2022  “But sometimes, when I look in her eyes, that’s where I find A glimpse of us”   But why is that the glimpse of us Is painted in red but not of love   Almost as if we were Never meant to be together   Like a boomerang You came back my life   But I was still bruised by the Love you gave me before   I guess the glimpse of us That you saw in my eyes Told you to forget us And go back to you and me   The picture in red All over my head Never showed a Tint of rose   Roses are red And so is blood Pink meant love And red always hatred   Cuz every time when you look in my eyes You see a glimpse of the picture Painted in red Separating you and I   It was never us Always us Fighting for love Something we never had For each other, oh   I called you my home And you did the same But it was just a door To the unrequited love.   The glimp...

before diving into this, make sure youre upto date with the story!! check out the first 4 chapters (i called them episodes before) by clicking on this link :  i cant sing okaaay lets begin!! . “What are you giggling about, N?” he says to me in a dramatically villainy voice but with a whiff of goofiness. It’s Madhan. Our drums guy. What do they call them? Yes, drummer.  “You’re too young to understand my humour M” I say with a smug. “GOD IT’S JUST 1 MONTH. You’re older by one month N; you make it seem like a whole year.” He says pouting. Madhan literally looks like a teddy bear. He is not very scrawny and not very round. He is a perfect blend of muscle and fat. He has a charming smile and eyes to die for, my friend’s words, not mine. Unlike Aditya who is the heartthrob of many, Madhan is actually residing in all the girls’ hearts. He has an easy going personality and eyes that always search for mischief. On the stage he is a completely different person. If Aditya and I didn’t e...

  I love my wife a lot. I love her so much and I make sure to be a green flag as they say on the Internet and tell her that every day, every hour.  We are high school sweethearts; years have gone by and she aged like a fine wine. Her eyes shine like golden apple under the sunlight (my only reason to go with her on morning walks). She has really pretty curly hair flowing down her shoulders; she braids it but I love it more when she lets the breeze play with her locks. “You should have children; they complete your life and marriage” say our relatives. She completes me and I her, I think to myself inside while smile awkwardly out. As for our marriage, we tried but later discovered she had ovarian cancer and had to let the baggage be taken away, metaphorically and literally. Since then we stopped dreaming about little humans in our sweet home. Sometimes we feel lonely but we feel better as we hear are next door neighbor fail miserably at pacifying her 3 month old.  I love my ...

Diary entry “Never end a conversation on a bad note” I see this quote everyday in some sorts of ways. In many stories the ending is the same tragedy, the other person dies. And the guilt and regret eats the surviving person alive.  Survivor’s guilt, they call it. But I was not even in the same car when this happened. Today is Sunday, a bright day. But my plan for today doesn’t include a minute of ‘bathing in the autumn sun’ or ‘ruffling in the park’ or even ‘looking out the window daydreaming’. I am strictly busy. I have exams and I cannot afford to slip any minutes now. “Your marks are in your hands. All the time. Our job is done and the rest 80% is yours to be done” the words of my statistics teacher echoes in my head. My brain is filling with dopamine, I love studying. It’s great about it people don’t get it. You learn new things and they test you on it. What’s so worrisome about it?  It is so ironic that I think this yet I still have my heart palpitating at my study schedu...