An Orange Cloud

Sometimes I wish that I can just lay on my bed, cry about all my problems, right from the beginning like when my dad tricked me into eating my jalebi when I was like 3 to the unhappened future events like being on my deathbed with my husband on my side in the hospital bed weeping as I take my last breath. I like doing that.   The misery I don’t despise.   That feeling of melancholy that brings me closer to the box I filled with emotions and shut close could be days ago, or even years in the past. That feeling of being wrapped around with a warm heavy blanket even on a sunny day with fan on full speed and AC on blast.   Sometimes I wish to take comfort in the sadness that washes over me due to a tiny conflict.     I wish to be covered with dark grey clouds ready to storm all over my mind.   I wish to stay in a dark blue walled hotel room, with paintings of pretty little flowers not yet ready to bloom, with waterfalls, not so glory when lo...

  TW: depressing.     Maybe we were never supposed to be Meant to be   The gods are getting angry, twas Never meant to be   Life is getting shorter each day Never meant to be   The curse is getting stronger dusk to dawn Never meant to be   Darling your hand is getting warmer Never meant to be   The stars in the sky seem brighter Never meant to be   The distance is getting closer Never meant to be   The world is getting darker Never meant to be   The lights are getting dimmer Never meant to be   My eyes are all dried up Never meant to be   My skin is getting paler Never meant to be   There’s a mushroom of smoke outside Never meant to be   The air is getting toxic Never meant to be   The world is getting crueler Never meant to be   The greed is spreading Never meant to be   The universe is screaming it is...

   Missing things in the way I wanna go back and relive them T rail Of Thoughts- 39 Sto-Rini-27   The other day in work, (during break time- if anyone from my work is reading) my senior was playing video games. And I, who can’t keep her eyes to herself, was watching the game play. He was playing India free fire-something, not sure. That reminded me of the time when I used to play pubg with my brother back in 2020. I told my senior the story where when my brother and i were on a jeep in the game, I accidentally threw the gr4nede on us and killed us both in that round. (Idk why my brother was reluctant playing with me after that, smh)    Anyways, that story caught his attention and I asked him if he plays gta-vice city. That game has been in my home computer for as long as I can remember. I think I remember installing it but I’m not sure, memory’s fuzzy. I was getting excited and was about to ask him about a mission in the game and he goes, “I know what you’re tal...