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regret #1

By Rini -
Diary entry “Never end a conversation on a bad note” I see this quote everyday in some sorts of ways. In many stories the ending is the same tragedy, the other person dies. And the guilt and regret eats the surviving person alive.  Survivor’s guilt, they call it. But I was not even in the same car when this happened. Today is Sunday, a bright day. But my plan for today doesn’t include a minute of ‘bathing in the autumn sun’ or ‘ruffling in the park’ or even ‘looking out the window daydreaming’. I am strictly busy. I have exams and I cannot afford to slip any minutes now. “Your marks are in your hands. All the time. Our job is done and the rest 80% is yours to be done” the words of my statistics teacher echoes in my head. My brain is filling with dopamine, I love studying. It’s great about it people don’t get it. You learn new things and they test you on it. What’s so worrisome about it?  It is so ironic that I think this yet I still have my heart palpitating at my study schedule. It’s
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episode 4 of "i can't sing"

By Rini -
 i called them episodes in the first place and now i can't take it back. before reading this, you have to go read the first three episodes, you can find them on my blog label "i can't sing"!! here's the link.  i cant sing     Uma found me walking to school and decided to join me as a good friend. Only I was sad that I wished it was someone else. You know what; I am not going to think about him for a while now. I have a friend right beside me who is happy to see me just like you when you see him - shut up brain!! I need to learn how to be a good friend. I should talk to her and give her good company. You can’t deny it- ahhh .   “Soo, I think you liked the poem from last week, huh?” Uma was THE happiest when she read the love poems I showed. There are more in wip that they don’t know about. Her reactions to my poems were what kept me on the ship while his were crashing me from all directions. No I will not think about him. When she saw my broken face, she
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Garden of love

By Rini -
   Would be nice to read with “ Birds of a feather ” by Billie Eilish.     Just when my flowers bloomed You decide to question my growth, Leading to my eternal doom Break my hope and heart both.   Right person wrong time. Never hated the fine line Between stranger and lover, Anymore than I do now.   What if I assure of my love? Would you be willing to love My flowers and their bloom, Without letting them doom?   Would loving you be a regret? I would rather be your friend. But I guess we will forget If we let go of our safety net.   But my heart wouldn’t listen to my brain, When it says let him go. My heart would rather wait in the rain, Than leave my flowers wither in vain.   Sunshine and water, I need for my flowers To grow and bloom Over the fence of our home.   But all I see Is grass not green, But sky so dark Glooming with clouds.   The garden of love Is now watered with my tears Tears of love, Now leaving my heart.   The black stormy clouds Surrounding my house, Destroying every b
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to me

By Rini -
i have seen it all, The darkness lurking all around. i have experienced it all, The many wounds on my heart show it all. . Is there any love left inside of me? Am i even worthy of anything? These questions keep me awake While my tears dry up on my face. . Barren land surrounds my broken home i can’t even find a single brick of hope Tragedy fills up my eyes, While a smile covers my bleak life. . What is life without living, but a shell with nothing; Not even a life, if you ask me. . i can sense myself falling, falling, falling, falling Nothing to grab on to Nothing to live for, Except to hold on Till i stop falling one day. . Is not falling better than falling? Is life prettier if i stop falling down, ... And fall in love? . But what if   i’m incapable of love? What if life is but a lesson? What if my life was never worth anything? . All the while i fall, in the dark, dark night i wish for a star, a wish so subtle i
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episode 3 of "I can't sing"

By Rini -
 before attacking this one, check out the first two episodes. click here for Episode 1 and Episode 2 “I really really like you Aditya!” I exclaim, my heart beating louder than the bullet bike that passed us. My vision is blurry, my brown hair is flying all over my face because of the wind, and the traffic is nonchalant. This was not exactly what I had in my mind when I wanted to confess to him. But I loved it nonetheless. And I never even guessed this would happen. Every morning when I walk to school, I would see him walk with confidence and allure, or that’s what everyone says about him. But all I see is a socially awkward guy who doesn’t want to start any conversation with anyone. He wears his black ear buds and holds his phone in his left hand. His school bag is completely black like he is hiding some dark secrets. The school uniform fit his physique like it was made for him. His tall frame really complements the proportions of the uniform. The uniform is red checked shirt and crea
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i love yappers

By Rini -
Image
  You know the feeling you get when you talk with someone, mostly them speaking, you don’t feel like interrupting because you just connect with them and they speak your mind and you don’t have to say anything? I feel that with 3 people Ria chopra Data praneeth And my dear friend, zz Trail Of Thoughts- 36   It’s just that some yappers are just very interesting, like I can only listen to them for hours. It’s the speed, vocabulary, accent and etcetera that matter.   The other day, my friends and I were going to a shop where we overhead a conversation between two guys. It was really funny and I still remember what it was about. Let me remind you, this guy is a yapper because I swear I did not hear the other guy’s voice at all, the whole 5 min we ‘overheard’ them.   “I need to go there today apparently, and if I don’t my cousin is threatening me, literally threatening me saying I’d be banned from all future family functions, like wtf is that? Do you know how much it'
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maybe just maybe

By Rini -
    I hope you don’t fall in love With another person,   ... Until you stop mourning About that one person.   A masked face on the outside Still loving that one girl deep inside I don’t think the present will love it If you keep living in the past.   Maybe just maybe Have you given a thought, Of how she might’ve forgotten you The day you guys bid goodbye, The day you were sure Would be the last day Her eyes would meet yours?   Maybe just maybe, Have you given a thought Of how the people you now spend time with Are a part of your life, While you still mourn the void That can be filled by only her?   Maybe just maybe Did you happen to think If you deserve more than A forgotten love?   Maybe just maybe You deserve love That’s looking at you Right now While you still search for hers.   Maybe just maybe You’re still blind And the love you thought eternal Has lost its spark Yet you still look for it.   Maybe just maybe You could stop living in the past, You could stop loving the same person,
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