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the joy i get to celebrate for the fourth time

IT’S BEEN 4 YEARS SINCE I HAVE STARTED MY BLOG. ANORANGECLOUD IS CELEBRATING ITS 2 ND 3 RD BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! (Fresh off the boat reference)   YAYY!   T rail Of Thoughts- 40   Sto-Rini-28 Like all my anniversary posts, I’d like to start with thanking my brother. I know you’re reading this and ready to text me to take it off but no, don’t even think about it. I started Anorangecloud because you suggested it. Thank you again (I’ll thank you for the rest of anorangecloud’s life).     Hello normal people. How is your life treating you these days? BORING.   Let me tell you about mine. (Also, please do share how your life’s been in the comments below or text me <3)   If you read any of my previous anniversary posts, you will know they’re a bunch of “Ten day diary” extended version. It’s a filler post, you can say. And guess what? It’s the same this year as well. Deal with it.   Welcome to my “Chit-chat with Rini because we got nothing else to do” ...

Its raining leaves

 05082022 It's Friday again. There's one more hour left and I can finally call myself a free bird waiting to fly to the horizon called weekend. A stressful hour, with no energy to learn anything, so distracted that even maths seems uninteresting now, sweaty because the weather can't decide if it wants to be hot or cloudy and mostly stressed about everything. Speaking of weather, I look out of the window and witness something so magical and mesmerizing that it puts a smile on my face. The forest of trees is raining leaves. Yes leaves! It looked so romantic and playful. The yellow leaves falling gracefully with the greenest background with a sprinkle of brown trunks and branches. The scene was out of this world. There were so many leaves falling and covering the ground like a fluffy yellow blanket. Reminded me of many things but the top list would be; going on an autumn date that includes a walk with a beverage to-go, the less travelled road that appears in the poem 'road...

the misery i dont despise

Sometimes I wish that I can just lay on my bed, cry about all my problems, right from the beginning like when my dad tricked me into eating my jalebi when I was like 3 to the unhappened future events like being on my deathbed with my husband on my side in the hospital bed weeping as I take my last breath. I like doing that.   The misery I don’t despise.   That feeling of melancholy that brings me closer to the box I filled with emotions and shut close could be days ago, or even years in the past. That feeling of being wrapped around with a warm heavy blanket even on a sunny day with fan on full speed and AC on blast.   Sometimes I wish to take comfort in the sadness that washes over me due to a tiny conflict.     I wish to be covered with dark grey clouds ready to storm all over my mind.   I wish to stay in a dark blue walled hotel room, with paintings of pretty little flowers not yet ready to bloom, with waterfalls, not so glory when lo...

never meant to be

  TW: depressing.     Maybe we were never supposed to be Meant to be   The gods are getting angry, twas Never meant to be   Life is getting shorter each day Never meant to be   The curse is getting stronger dusk to dawn Never meant to be   Darling your hand is getting warmer Never meant to be   The stars in the sky seem brighter Never meant to be   The distance is getting closer Never meant to be   The world is getting darker Never meant to be   The lights are getting dimmer Never meant to be   My eyes are all dried up Never meant to be   My skin is getting paler Never meant to be   There’s a mushroom of smoke outside Never meant to be   The air is getting toxic Never meant to be   The world is getting crueler Never meant to be   The greed is spreading Never meant to be   The universe is screaming it is...

missing

   Missing things in the way I wanna go back and relive them T rail Of Thoughts- 39 Sto-Rini-27   The other day in work, (during break time- if anyone from my work is reading) my senior was playing video games. And I, who can’t keep her eyes to herself, was watching the game play. He was playing India free fire-something, not sure. That reminded me of the time when I used to play pubg with my brother back in 2020. I told my senior the story where when my brother and i were on a jeep in the game, I accidentally threw the gr4nede on us and killed us both in that round. (Idk why my brother was reluctant playing with me after that, smh)    Anyways, that story caught his attention and I asked him if he plays gta-vice city. That game has been in my home computer for as long as I can remember. I think I remember installing it but I’m not sure, memory’s fuzzy. I was getting excited and was about to ask him about a mission in the game and he goes, “I know what you’re tal...

Romance in the Solar System

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 Heyyyoo. The other day I was doom-scrolling on reels (routine reveal) and I noticed a reel about our solar system. Precisely about how the Pluto was not stable and drifting away but the Neptune’s resonance kept Pluto close. It was simply beautiful. The edit especially was what left me speechless but filled me with words not even seconds later. I went to my notes app and started typing while singing in to my empty room with glued on glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.  Here’s the poem. . I’m blue but my heart is not I’m cold but my feelings are not . She's faaar away, but not for long When she comes closer I would keep her close For i can't be cold and loved. . She showed me warmth, When i was shoved to the end. She showed me happiness when not alone, And i have her warm memories till my end. . Life is short, she's shorter My heart beats faster with her . I loved the poem. Then I was back on my business and continued doom-scrolling when a reel from the same page showed u...

Wtf #1

 On the Livingstone estate, flies were sometimes the first indication that someone had d1ed. “ It was a beautiful morning today. Well not the most beautiful but, it was the gothic type beautiful. Something straight out of a horror movie. I watch a lot of horror movies and every day I wake up and look out the window to see if the day was like today. It was cloudy, misty. I heard the rain the whole night. It was cats and gods one minute and would go complete lofi the next second. The frequency and the time interval were unpredictable. There was also a phase where the rain was close to what I like it as: thunders and lightning. Those really add to the effect of what I’m doing. Remember when I told you I love horror movies? Well, guess what, I’m also a m-rderer. People who k1ll people don’t do journals for a reason. Hmm you know why right? But today I started this journal because I have no fear of getting caught. That is because it’s my last murder and the victim IS the murder. If you ...